![[Merry Xmas!]](xcracker1.jpg)
In 1847 Tom Smith, a baker of wedding cakes from Clerkenwell
in London, invented the Christmas cracker. A cracker is a small cardboard tube
covered in a brightly coloured twist of paper. When the cracker is 'pulled'
by two people, each holding one end, the friction creates a small explosive
'pop' produced by a narrow strip of chemically impregnated paper. The cardboard
tube releases a bright paper hat, a small gift, a balloon and a motto or joke.
(That's the theory anyway!)
On a trip to Paris in 1840 Tom first discovered the 'bon bon', a sugared almond
wrapped in a twist of tissue paper. He developed the 'bon bon' idea and to stimulate
sales, he decided to place a small love motto in the tissue paper. It was the
crackle of a log on his fire that gave him the flash of inspiration which eventually
led to the crackers we know today. He increased the size of the 'bon bon'and
included an explosive 'cracking mechanism'.
By the turn of the century crackers were made not only for the Christmas season
but also to celebrate every major occasion from The Paris Exhibition in 1900
to War Heroes in 1918 and The World Tour in 1926 of Prince Edward, The Prince
of Wales. Contents were tailored and included artistic masks, puzzles, conundrums,
tiny treasures, jewels, games and mottoes. At this time most of the beautifully
illustrated boxes, crackers and hats were made by hand.
A large variety of specialist types were made including Wedgwood Art and designs
like the Japanese Menagerie crackers containing animals, birds, reptiles and
mottoes in Japanese. Crackers were created for Charlie Chaplin, The Wireless,
Motoring, The Coronation and even the Channel Tunnel in 1914. Records show an
order for a six foot cracker to decorate Euston Station in London. Exclusive
crackers were also made for members of the Royal Family. (But of course a couple
of flunkies would actually pull the cracker as it was considered just too vulgar
to pull one's own).
Nowadays cheap, mass-produced crackers predominate. Instead of tiny, hand-crafted
treasures and amusing mottoes crackers usually contain a tacky paper crown,
a poorly translated Taiwanese joke and some type of grotesquely deformed plastic
imp. And often they don't pop. But they are cheap and we like them really.
Here are some genuine cracker jokes. These should not be called jokes as they
are not funny. The examples prove this.
Q. How do you spell hungry horse with just four letters?
A. M.T.G.G.
Two elephants fell off a cliff.
Boom, boom!
Teacher: Why did Tchaikovsky write this piece in four flats?
Pupil: Because he had to move house three times while he was composing.
Q. Who never minds being interrupted in the middle of a sentence?
A. A convict.
Salesman: This car has had one careful owner.
Customer: But it's covered in dents and scratches.
Salesman: I'm afraid the other owners weren't so careful!
Peter: I'm much too tired to do my homework.
Mum: Don't be silly. Hard work never killed anybody.
Peter: That's true but why should I risk being the first?
Q. What cake flies through the air and comes back again?
A. A Boomeringue!
Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a garden hose?
A. A jumbo jet!
Q. Which bear is white and smells of peppermint?
A. A polo bear!
Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Then why aren't you laughing sir?