Dear Sir
I'm not sure how you came about my email address but I am not in a position to help you with this particular offer.
I am normally associated with assistance, donations and good will to sporting teams in need and I guess that is how you came by my contact details on the internet.
I hope you find assistance
in your endeavours, or indeed if you did represent a sporting club and
I misunderstood the request please feel free to come back to me.
Regards,
Simon Potter
Marketing Oficer
ARSE CLOWNS FOOTBALL
CLUB
From this seed sent out to many mugus...
From:
sony white
Subject:
YOUR URGENT ATTENSION IS NEEDED.
Date:
Fri 29/10/2004 06:17 PM
Attn : Simon Potter
How are you today?
Hope you and your family are doing
fine over ther,
I want you to knowthat i got your
contact details
on the internet regards to your
donations and good
will to sporting teams in need.
Before i start let
me introduce my self to you i am
mr, suny white and
i have a foot ball club here in
Nigeria name golden
star foot ball club and we are 8
months old and i
belive you have to help me out so
that both of us
can start some thing good .
My dear friend
Simon Potter i want you to know that
in my term here
we have good player that can perform
very very well,
So my dear brother i want you to look
into my case and
use your good office to help me
because at this
point in time i realy need your help
and i want you to
reply me immedaitely you receive
this mail and i
want you to confirm your phone number
so that i can call
you for discausion ok have a nice
day and God bless
you and you family.
Waiting to here from you.
Rgards.
Sony White.
Golden star foot
ball club.
TELL : 234-1-7219730
From:
Simon Potter
Subject:
Re: YOUR URGENT ATTENSION IS NEEDED.
Date:
Sun 31/10/2004 05:07 PM
Dear Sir
I thank you for your interest in our football club and for considering us worthy of being able to help you out.
Before we discuss whether or not we are willing to accept you onto our Mascot Program and ultimately provide you with a donation, we require you to tell us about your club.
We wish the following details from you -
* Official address
and contact for the club
* A brief history
of the club (I know you gave me some details but we'd like a bit more please)
* Why you require
the money and your intentions for it use (Again, more detail please)
We look forward to your reply.
Regards,
Simon Potter
Marketing Oficer
ARSE CLOWNS FOOTBALL
CLUB
A fairly standard reply from me these days to this type of request.
From:
sony white
Subject:
YOUR URGENT ATTENSION IS NEEDED (DETAILS)
Date:
Mon 08/11/2004 12:56 AM
Attn : Simon potter,
How are you today, I belive that you and your family are doing fine over there and sorry for replying late it is because will have a mach in the eastern region ok, I want you to know that i receive your mail and the content of your mail and i am very glad that you respond to my mail and once again i thak you fore your urgent reply and find below the details you want from me.
(1) Our Official address and contact for the club is.
Golden star foot
ball club
No 23/24 kamoru
street ejigbo.
lagos Nigeria.
(2) Brief history of the club .
My dear friend Golden
star foot ball club is a new club of about 8 morths old and we are doind
fine and we have played server maches and will come out shine and at times
we also lost to the other clud too and i have being trying my very best
to keep the player together both fanically and to make sur that they are
all right and i want you to know that over this 8 morths i have being taking
responsibility of all the exepenses it is not essy buth i thank God for
seeing me through all this, So my friend i want you to look into me case
and use your good office to assist me because i rely need your help at
this point now
(3) Why you require the money and your intentions for it use.
My dear friend Simon, I want you to know that at this point let me explain to your understanding, It is not rely essy here for me to take care of all the expenses here and at the same time taking care of all the player, My dear brother this is where i need your assistance golden star foot ball club have a lot of thing we need money for here and pls find below the things we need money for here.
(1) we need to buy
kit for the player .
(2) we need money
to buy drugs for the payer and the onces that have injuries.
(3) we need money
for transport since we dont have a bus that we take us to where we have
maches.
My dear friend there are others things here that we need money for here, But any amont you have in mind to use in helping golden star foot ball club as a matter of fact i and my club will be very happy here and i know this is the begining good thigs that both of us have, My brother like i have told you before now i have very good player and you can even maket them for me over there in time to come so my daer friend i want you to look into this mateter and do something very fast ok have a nive day and God bless you and yiur family.
Waiting to here form you.
Regards.
Sony White.
Golden star foot
ball club.
TELL : 234-1-7219730
Blah blah blah, I think I will give him his donation.
From:
Simon Potter
Subject:
Re: YOUR URGENT ATTENSION IS NEEDED (DETAILS)
Date:
Mon 08/11/2004 10:38 PM
Dear Sir
I can tell you that your application has been considered provisionally successful.
This means the club has agreed to provide you with GBP10,000 once you have become a Mascot Associate of our club. We feel embarressed we cannot offer you more than this, but the previous year saw the club struggle on the field and we've a tighter budget to work with this season.
To become a Mascot Associate member the following requirements will need to be met -
1. You will need to sign an application letter which is currently being prepared. You will need to scan the signed letter and send it back to me.
2. You will send a team photo with every player in your squad, and the coach and director of the club. Every person in the photo must be holding a printed copy of our team name. I will provde an appropriate image for this when I send you the application letter. It is important that you find a good photographer for this photo and when you scan it to send back to us you do so at no less than 1024 pixels wide.
I will remind you again of these conditions when the application letter is ready.
Congratulations!
Regards,
Simon Potter
Marketing Oficer
ARSE CLOWNS FOOTBALL
CLUB
From:
sony white
Subject:
THANKS FOR HELPING (Golden star foot ball club)
Date:
Sat 13/11/2004 09:36 AM
Attn : Simon potter,
How are you today?
I belive you and your family are
doing fine over
there, I want you to know that i
receive your mail
and the attachment you sent to me
and i want to say
once again thank you for helping
Golden star foot
ball club we are very glad to here
that you can help
us out.
My dear brother i
want you to know that i am working
on the signing of
the document and the photos of my
Golden star foot
ball club as you instructed,
Immedaitely they
are ready i will sent them to you ok
have a nice day
and God bless you and your family.
Once again we thank you for your kindness.
Regards.
Sony White.
Golden star foot
ball club.
TELL : 234-1-7219730
OK, I have his letter ready so time
to send it off attacged to this email..
From:
Simon Potter
Subject:
Re: YOUR URGENT ATTENSION IS NEEDED (DETAILS)
Date:
Tue 09/11/2004 04:47 PM
Dear Sir
As I mentioned to you previously I have attached the application letter that you must sign and return to me. There is not a lot of reading to do, the letter is mainly used by us as proof of the donation as it entitles us to tax benefits - it is probably not overly legally binding in your country.
Also attached is the logo for the team photo we require.
As a reminder here are the specifications for this photo -
You will send a team photo with every player in your squad, and the coach and director of the club. Every person in the photo must be holding a printed copy of our team name.
It is important that you find a good photographer for this photo and when you scan it to send back to us you do so at no less than 1024 pixels wide.
Thank you for your attention and I hope to hear from you with your completed application soon.
Regards,
Simon Potter
Marketing Oficer
ARSE CLOWNS FOOTBALL
CLUB
It took him over 10 days, but he's done
the job!
From:
sony white
Subject:
REQUSTED DOCUMENTS (VIEW ATTACHMENT)
Date:
Mon 22/11/2004 02:38 AM
Attn : Simon Potter
How are you today? I belive that you are doing fine over there, Find below the the attachment of the document signed and the photos of my foot ball team and the three players that we be going going for trials to ivroy coast come this week end. These players were picked on the corse of our screening exicesses by the agent from the naboring country. This player are good players, If you are need of the information of this players i can give you the information of the player latter, Belive me, this boys can play some good foot ball.
And this are thier details : My team captain Chuks Anyagbue, A mid fielder : Acka Josephe an attacker Babawo Benedit defender this player are 19 years and below ok. have a nice day and God bless you and your family.
Once again on behalf of my club Golden star foot ball club we thank you very much for your help and coo-pration . The boys are really in high spirte to partake come next season state foot ball league which we belive that we will partisipate with your good assistance thank you.
Waiting to here from you.
Regards.
Sony White.
Golden star foot
ball club.
TELL : 234-1-7219730
Signed Application Letter - Click image
to see full view.
"conplite team" - Click image to
see full view.
"assitance coah chife coah and skkipo"
- Click image to see full view.
"due trial players" - Click image
to see full view.
From:
sony white
Subject:
WAITING TO HERE FROM YOU.
Date:
Tue 23/11/2004 11:55 PM
Attn : Simon potter,
How are you today? I belive that you and your family are doing fine over there, I want you to know that i send the photos and the signing of the document as you instructed and i want you to update me regards to the receiving of the good photos and the document signed as you have instructed befor now ok have a nice day and God bless you and your family.
Waiting to here from you.
Regards.
Sony White.
Golden star foot
ball club.
TELL : 234-1-7219730
From:
Simon Potter
Subject:
Re: WAITING TO HERE FROM YOU.
Date:
Wed 24/11/2004 07:10 PM
Sir
Many thanks for completing the application process.
We are going through your photographs and believe they will be suitable for our needs.
Indeed we hope very soon to present to you very soon our latest (supplementary) newsletter which will feature your club.
As part of our Mascot Programme we will require you to give us score updates of your club's progress in your league.
Perhaps you could send through the last month's results for publication - you may yet meet the deadline.
In the meantime we shall assess this and everything else in regards to your donation.
Regards,
Simon Potter
OK, let's delay the need to pay him.
From:
sony white
Subject:
THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL.
Date:
Sat 27/11/2004 10:54 AM
Attn : Simon Potter,
How are you today, Hope you and your family are doing fine over there, I want you to know that i receive your mail and the content of your mail and i also want you to know that i am very glad to here from you. So my dear friend simon, like i did told you befor now regards to my club that this clud is just only 8 months old and by the grace of God by 28th of this month golden stars foot ball club will be 9 months old.
My dear friend i want you to know that come next year lagos state foot ball leage season this boys will definetly take part thruogh your own assistance to the club, My dear brother this boys are very good players which of corse i belive that they will be coming out shining.
My club golden star foot ball clud have already played 7 friendly matches they have won 5 matches and lost one, drew one. In the corse of the friendly matches thoes three players i told you about in my last mail to you are picked for trials to ivory coast like i ealier told you in order to put the boys in a very good shape will need your urgent assistance so that we can no our direction and i will always update you regards to thier performacese. My friend i know some day this boys will come to play in your country if you want them ok? Have a nice day and God bless you and your family
Waiting to here from you.
Regards.
Sony White.
Golden star foot
ball club.
TELL : 234-1-7219730
From:
Simon Potter
Subject:
ACFC NEWSLETTER NOVEMBER
Date:
Thu 02/12/2004 07:10 PM
I send him a newsletter as mentioned
in my emails. Click image to read. (Originally sent as a pdf file)
From:
Simon Potter
Subject:
Re: THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL.
Date:
Mon 06/12/2004 10:00 PM
Sir
I have not heard from you. I have information regarding your payment but you have not replied to my emails.
Regards,
Simon Potter
Even though he can take a while between emails, I haven't heard from him for a bit so I'll just check up on him.
From:
sony white
Subject:
YOUR URGENT REPLY IS NEEDED.
Date:
Tue 07/12/2004 01:59 AM
Attn : Simon Potter,
How are you today, I want you to know that i receive the attactment you sent to me and i just on my computer now and i saw your mail regards to the information of payment my dear brother i am very glad to here from you so i want you to tell me its it western union money transfer or through account i want you to update me now ok have a nive day and God bless you and your family.
Waiting to here from you.
Regards.
Suny White.
My turn to make him wait.
From:
sony white
Subject:
DO UPDATE ME WHAT IS GOING ON .
Date:
Sat 11/12/2004 10:43 AM
Attn : Simon Potter
Hpw are you today? I belive that you and your fanily are doing fine over there, I want you to know that i am still waiting for you to update me regards to what is going on ok have a nice day and God bless you and you family
Waiting to here from you.
Regards.
Sony White.
Golden star foot
ball club.
TELL : 234-1-7219730
From:
Simon Potter
Subject:
Re: DO UPDATE ME WHAT IS GOING ON .
Date:
Mon 13/12/2004 01:13 AM
Sir
We'll be sending a special agent of ours to deliver the donation in person. I shall advise you when he'll be arriving in Lagos.
Please be ready to make him welcome and I'm sure he'd more than enjoy visiting a training session and/or a game during his stay.
I will send details in due course.
Regards,
Simon Potter
OK, lets see if I can get him down the airport.
From:
sony white
Subject:
THANKS FOR YOUR UPDATE.
Date:
Tue 14/12/2004 12:13 AM
Attn : Simon Potter
How are you today? I belive that you and your family are doing fine over there, I want you to know that i receive you mail and the content of your mail and i want to thank you very mush for your kind of assistance. I want you to know that the special agent will be well come and i will make sure that he enjoy visiting a training session and/or a game during his stay ok have a nice day and God bless you and your family.
Waiting for his arrival.
Regards.
Sony White.
Golden star foot
ball club.
TELL : 234-1-7219730
From:
Simon Potter
Subject:
Re: THANKS FOR YOUR UPDATE.
Date:
Thu 16/12/2004 10:23 PM
Sir
I am pleased to announce our agent Snif me Anus will be journeying to Lagos to meet with you.
His flight is Air France Flight 854 (from Paris) arriving in at Lagos 4:50pm on 24 December.
I hope you will be pleased to meet with him.
My best wishes to you, your family and your club over the festive season.
Regards,
Simon Potter
From:
sony white
Subject:
WAITING TO HERE FROM YOU(REGARDS HIS ARRIVAL).
Date:
Fri 17/12/2004 11:25 AM
Attn : Simon Potter,
How are are you doing today? I want you to know that i receive your mail regards to about your agent Mr Snif me Anusmr arriving to lagos Nigeria, I want you to know that he will be receive by me, And i want you to know that i am waiting for his arrival on 24th dec ok and i want to thank you very mush for your kind of surport and i belive that one day both of us will meat so that i can realy thank you for all that you have being doing on behalf of me and my foot ball club we wish you and your family season greeting to you all over there.
Waiting for his arrival.
Regards.
Sony White.
Golden star foot
ball club.
TELL : 234-1-7219730
From:
Simon Potter
Subject:
Re: WAITING TO HERE FROM YOU(REGARDS HIS ARRIVAL).
Date:
Tue 21/12/2004 06:37 AM
Sir
Thank you for your acceptance of our somewhat inviting ourselves over to see you. Snif me Anus has requested that if you are meeting him at the airport, would it be possible for you to hold a sign (like most drivers often do) with his name written on it?
I hope you and your family are enjoying the festive season.
Regards,
Simon Potter
No point getting a mugu to the airport if he isn't going to wave around an amusing sign.
From:
sony white
Subject:
WAITING FOR HIS HIS ARRIVAL.
Date:
Tue 21/12/2004 12:19 PM
Attn : Simon Potter
How are you today?
I want you to know that i receive
your mail regards
to (it possible for you to hold a
sign) with
his name written on it? Yes it is posible
hold a sign with
his name on it ok and i want you to
know that i am waiting
for his arrival to lagos
Nigeria on
the 24th ok once again thanks very mush
for your help and
i want you to know that mr Snif me
Anus will be receive
by me ko have a nice day and God
bless you and you
family.
Waiting to here that your agent has let for lagos.
Regadrs.
Suny White.
From:
sony white
Subject:
UPDATE ME ON WHAT IS GOING ON (VERY URGENT).
Date:
Sun 26/12/2004 08:52 AM
Attn : Simon Potter,
How are you today? I belive that you and you family are just doing fine over there, I want you to know that i waitted for your agent Snif me Anus in the air port on friday 24th of dec, But my dear brother i cant find him and i want as fer as going through the names of the people came through air france that day his name was not there.
My dear brother simon what is the problem, Do update me immedaitely you receive this mail because of the comming of mr Snif me Anus my players do not go for thier x-mass and do update me with phone number so that both of us can talk so i want an urgent reponsed from you ok have a nice day and God bless you and your family.
wishing you and your family best of the year and a happy new year in advance.
Waiting for your immedaite reply.
Regards.
Mr Suny White
From:
Simon Potter
Subject:
Re: UPDATE ME ON WHAT IS GOING ON (VERY URGENT).
Date:
Sun 26/12/2004 09:32 PM
Sir
This really is a dreadful mix-up. Snif was at the airport and couldn't see your sign, but another gentleman offered to help him out with a hotel so he went with him.
I haven't heard from him since then but if you pass on your cell phone number to me I'll see that he calls you as soon as I hear from him.
Regards,
Simon Potter
Now let's go for the "kidnapped by another mugu" trick.
From:
sony white
Subject:
WAITTING FOR HIS CALL (VERY URGENT).
Date:
Mon 27/12/2004 02:15 AM
Attn : Simon Potter,
this is my direct phone number from lagos here 10-7219730 but from your end is 234-1-7219730
Waitting for his call,
Suny White.
From:
Simon Potter
Subject:
Re: WAITTING FOR HIS CALL (VERY URGENT).
Date:
Tue 28/12/2004 05:35 AM
Sir
I am having trouble getting hold of Mr me Anus. I will keep trying and get back to you.
Regards,
Simon Potter
From:
Simon Potter
Subject:
Re: WAITTING FOR HIS CALL (VERY URGENT).
Date:
Thu 30/12/2004 04:37 PM
Sir
I am in a dilemna and I hope you can help me. I cannot reach Mr me Anus on the phone and I am worried something may have happened to him.
As I have told you before he was met by a man at the airport who did help him find a hotel.
I can tell you this much - he said the man's name was Chris Okafor and that he would get him into a good hotel at a cheap price. But that was the last we heard from him.
Our efforts to find him have gone nowhere - can you assist us please?
Regards,
Simon Potter
From:
Simon Potter
Subject:
Re: WAITTING FOR HIS CALL (VERY URGENT).
Date:
Tue 04/01/2005 01:19 AM
Sir
We are now desperate for news on our colleague Mr Snif me Anus. You were supposed to meet him at the airport but you failed to look after him and now he has disappeared. It seems this "Chris Okafor" has kidnapped him but I do not believe this to be his real name.
The me Anus family reports that a lot of money has disappeared from their bank accounts and has been wired to your country. We suspect something very horrible is happening to Mr me Anus.
His family does not care about the money but just wants to see their loving father and husband again.
If you know anything at all about what has happened then please put their minds at rest.
Regards,
Simon Potter
Well he didn't reply, obviously twigged. Never mind.
End.