This guy claims to be wanting a trial but the angle turns out to be his lawyer requires payment for services rendered in the process. Some very flowery language from this mugu - an amusing read.
The following was sent to Luca Clay
in the assumption he will pretend he is Emeka Uba and hijack what's on
offer..
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Application
Date:
Thu 11/04/04 08:12 PM
Dear Emeka Uba
The directors have approved your application for a donation to Amazing Grace Football Club of Lagos.
Arse Clowns Football Club will be happy to provide you with GBP10,000 for the purposes outined in your application letter.
If you are still happy with this arrangement we can move onto the next step and we shall discuss further details including what we require of you, and payment. Otherwise if any changes need to be made let me know.
Ivan Goodhead
Marketing Oficer
ARSE CLOWNS FOOTBALL
CLUB
From:
eclay
Subject:
Emeka Uba
Date:
Wed 01/05/05 08:10 AM
Sir, I write to acknowledge
the recipt of your mail. Am okay with your offer and wish to recieving
the payment through my manager name Barrister luka clay through a western
union money transfer. Sincerely Emeka Uba
He starts by trying to grab the club's donation, of course its not going to be that simple.
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Emeka Uba
Date:
Fri 01/07/05 08:11 AM
Sir
As agreed we can pay the donation via Western Union - that is not a problem.
However we do require the signed letter of agreement and the photograph of your team holding our club logo as agreed.
I will send the modalities of this early next week. The forms need to be drafted and sanctioned by the directors.
I shall talk to you again soon.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
And I send him my usual form and "logo".
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
The Application Pack
Date:
Mon 01/10/05 07:09 PM
Sir
As promised here is everything we require of you to complete the application for your donation.
To become a Mascot Associate member the following requirements will need to be met -
1. You will need to sign the attached application letter. You will need to scan the signed letter and send it back to me.
2. You will send a team photo with every player in your squad, and the coach and director of the club. Every person in the photo must be holding a printed copy of our team name. An appropriate image of our team name is attached to this email. It is important that you find a good photographer for this photo and when you scan it to send back to us you do so at no less than 1024 pixels wide.
Please send these back as soon as possible and I can send the money to you via your preferred method of payment.
I apologise again that it is only GBP10,000 but it has been a difficult year for us and we can't offer more at this stage.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
The thought of producing a team photo
must have daunted him because suddenly his story takes a dramatic change.
From:
eclay
Subject:
Emeka Uba
Date:
Fri 01/14/05 04:20 AM
Dear Sir,
I must thank you
somuch for tring your very posible best to bring me over to your team for
greener pasture.The truth here now is that am expirence some problem
with my team prsident who is also the Director of our club,His reasons
was that they needed me so well for these season league match that is under
way.I have forwarded every papers concerning my moving over to your camp
which initially he shows me he is happy with the development,only recently
he change with somany diffirent attitude that makes me very un comfortable
seeing him around.I then call a lawyer' to intervane by collecting
all the signed papers you are requesting,yet he frawn at the lawyer,reasons
that he brought me up when I was nothing and that now I should be useful
to him and to the team,that he will not let go.Please Sir kindly use your
good office to bring me out !
of this chain,as
my Lawyer has promise to help me proccess my travelling document and also
to visit our National Football Glass House to secure every papers I will
need to play abroad.But all what I need here to get my future move on is
just some money,eight hundred euro( 830euro) to get all this things
dawn and leave my wicked Director who want to continue in holding my destiny.Please
Sir I beg you again as I am too sure that Heaven will not forget this goodness
if you can use your good office to assist me financially,am also
promising to pay back immedialy am true to play for your team if you so
wish Sir.
Thanks and stay
bless
Truly YoursEmeka
Uba
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Emeka Uba
Date:
Fri 01/14/05 05:58 AM
Sir
I am most confused by your email. I thought I was in contact with you because you were the officer in charge of receiving the donation from our club to yours.
Are you in fact only a player?
I get the feeling you wish to leave the country and have a trial - is that what I am reading?
Or are you looking for a personal donation - please clarify your position.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
From:
eclay
Subject:
Emeke Uba
Date:
Mon 01/17/05 09:25 PM
Sir, Is rather unfortunate
and on call for putting you through this choas.am so sorry and pray your
understanding,like I state in my previous mail,am a player in the team
but presently'I feel I have paid my dues in the team and I need to move
on with my life. Sir,Please for the sake of humanity and my destiny' which
is most as stake here,do me this favour as posterity will never forget
you,I wish to come over for trial and I believe it will be well. Please
bear with me Sir as Heaven will never forget this kindness you are about
to render me in other to move up in life. Thanks and stay bless Emeke Uba
Whatever - I like playing this game too.
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Emeke Uba
Date:
Mon 01/17/05 04:57 PM
Dear Sir
I can arrange a trial for you, but you need to tell me more about yourself.
Please answer the following questions -
1. Full Name
2. Date of Birth
3. Weight
4. Height
5. Position you
play
6. Playing History
- which teams have you played for and what achievements have you had as
a team, and by yourself.
7. Sexual Orientation
8. How often do
you drink alcohol and take recreational drugs?
9. Your goals in
life
We shall assess your suitability and see what can be done.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
From:
eclay
Subject:
Emeke Uba
Date:
Tue 01/18/05 04:45 PM
Thanks for given me hope to move on.Here are the answers to your question!
1.Emeka Paul Uba
2. January 15 1988.17
years
3.60 kg
4.5feet 6 inches
5.mid-field,but
my preferred place is outside right
6I first play
active football way back in primary,which was Governor's Cup compitition,while
in secondary school,I entered my school team when I was in form two which
was a junior class and is very rear to happen in my school as we have somany
other players,I was also part of my school that won the Shell cup compitition
which was my school greatess achievement as long as football is concern
7.male
[well he didn't understand the question, I might have fun with this later.]
8.I don't
take alcohol, and don't take recreational drugs at all.
9.I scored 14 goals
in a season and presently in my club now I had scored 9 goals in this present
season.
Am Please to hear
from you and!
look forward
to hearing from you again as my Lawyer as assured that he has made all
the necesary steps
Emeka Uba
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Emeke Uba
Date:
Thu 01/20/05 04:57 PM
Sir
I think that we can offer you a trial. I shall need to send an application to our League HQ however in order to approve a work visa for you and to let you compete in our League.
Please, you will need to do the following towards the application.
1. Please read and fill in and sign the attached form. Please scan the signed formed and send back to me.
2. I need a photo of you holding our club logo (logo is attached to this email). This should also be scanned and sent back to me. Please ensure the scan is of high quality.
Once these matters are attended to I can make an application with the League of Wales.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
And as usual I send him the application letter and our "logo".
From:
eclay
Subject:
Thanks' Sir
Date:
Mon 01/24/05 04:17 AM
Sir, How are you
and your family today? I guess is well. I saw your of 20/01/05,and am really
glad in all your effort to make me see the light towards my carrier in
life, I just can't stop thanking, if not for any other thing, but for your
continual response to my mail, you are really an Angel sent to rescue me
from this backward continent they Africa. Sequel to your mail' you ask
a question and the second was that you need a photo of me holding your
club logo (logo is attached to this email)but I can't find the attached
logo in my mail box, please resent it. Finally' Sir, the lawyer I contacted
over here to help me process my clearance both in my team and in my countries
FA in other to avoid any impediment when you finally send me an invitation
letter to join you, demanded some money(830euro) like I initially state
in my previous mail to you, The barrister is earnestly asking for this
money before the end of this Wednesday this week, though he has made some
positive moves that really encourage and secure some papers from the FA.
Sir, I do no is not very easy given this kind of assistance to a total
stranger, but bear in mind that even as I am hoping to get this help from
you, so shall a strange and un usually arm of the lord envelop you with
glory and blessing. Sir I look forward to receiving this sum from you soonest
so I can free myself from the barrister. Thanks and stay really bless Emeka
Uba
830euros eh? Well he's going to earn it.
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Emeke Uba
Date:
Mon 01/24/05 05:14 AM
Sir
I have included the form you must sign and the logo (in a .doc file) again in this email. Please deal with as I requested.
I understand your need for the money for your lawyer. We will be happy to pay this but not until you have completed the form and photograph as required.
In short we will not send money until the League approves your application. This is a mere formality, but it can't be done without the signed form and photograph. We also require a bill from your lawyer requesting the payment and detail of his services. If you could please include this as a scan as well this is ok.
I hope you understand our requirements.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
I resend the attachments.
From:
eclay
Subject:
Emeke Uba
Date:
Thu 01/27/05 08:12 AM
Dear Sir,
Am sorry I
had not responded to your mail,this is because I traveled out of the city
to my village to see my sick father,and right their,we don't have eletricity,so
there's no asses to the internet.I just arive to my base now and I saw
your mail.please bear with me as I will send the picture and your team
logo tomorrow or next.Thanks
Emeka Uba
From:
eclay
Subject:
Emeka P.Uba
Date:
Tue 02/01/05 05:25 AM
How are you today? am still very sure you are alive and kicking.
I have to confess to you why I hav'nt sent you my pictures and the scan logo like you requested me to do.
In the forms you sent to me,one of them reads that my coming to wales is strickly for ARSE CLOWN FOOTBALL CLUB which is my team to be'but the way that paragraph sound,it seems to mean that am going to remain all my life in the team till I stop playing football.
Sir'this is the only place am nursing my fear.please advise me as I have taken you to be my elder brother and a guidian Angel,my lawyer at present is not around for days now.I was at is office yesterday morning and his secetary said so,then I took his mobile number and call him,his respond was so poor because of the money am owing him,until I told him that the team am about to join in UK has agreed to pay part of the fee which is 830,I also made him understand you said he has to forward his bill to your office,so he promise coming back tomorrow.
All things been equal'I will wait for your advice just as I stated my fear.
As you have started a good thing, I odently believe you will finish it.
Thank and stay Bless
Emeka P.Uba
Yes, yes - just send the damn photo!
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Emeka P.Uba
Date:
Tue 02/01/05 05:58 PM
Sir
I don't understand your worries. We are offering you a trial at our club. You don't have to stay at our club if it doesn't work out - you are free to do whatever you want.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
From:
eclay
Subject:
Application Letter
Date:
Thu 02/03/05 03:50 AM
2 Four square street
Abesan Estate Ipaja Lagos 3 feb 2005 Arse Clowns Football Club Cundy Stadium
South Cundy Road Cardiff, Wales Dear Sirs I am writing to apply for a place
in your team Arse Clowns Football. I have in the past few years plied my
football trade in some few notable teams like bellfiled football club were
I actually joined through their feeder team,I also played for New Age football
Club of Ibusa were I actually played myself to recognition. I have had
a particular interest in your team and hope to give my best, I mean my
very best if given a chance in your team, Arse Clowns. I would be happy
to show the whole team the stuff am made of immediately am called upon.
Yours Sincerely Emeka P.Uba
I'm sure he didn't write it this way, but this is how I received his "letter".
From:
eclay
Subject:
doc1.jpg(123K)
Date:
Thu 02/03/05 04:05 AM
I have to send the
forms saprately
Why he has to do this I don't know. All I know is nothing has arrived yet.
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: doc1.jpg(123K)
Date:
Thu 02/03/05 05:38 PM
Sir
I have not received anything, where is the photo and the scanned form? I think you forgot to attach the files to your email.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
From:
eclay
Subject:
filled forms
Date:
Fri 02/04/05 12:08 AM
Find attached the doc
His photo - Click image for full view.
From: eclay
Subject:
Here is the signed form
Date:
Fri 02/04/05 12:24 AM
Attached the doc
His letter - Click image for full view.
From:
eclay
Subject:
personal information form
Date:
Fri 02/04/05 01:04 AM
Sir, Here is the
last attachement and I hope you can manage to view them as the scaning
system they have over here is worse than poor. Again is the lawyer,he has
somuch to help me conclude over here and as such I need to motivate him,presently
is really not taking me serious,he is so reloctant mailing you like you
said he should send his bill,but he is of the opinion that is not wise,but
he promise he is to do that today.please see how best you can do to assist
sought this bill with him Sir' am really counting on you,because am still
very sure that your reward to this kindness you have shown me so far will
be endless. Thanks and stay bless Emeka P Uba
His questionaire - Click image for
full view.
I'm going to make him retake the photo
because you can't see the logo too good.
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: personal information form
Date:
Sun 02/06/05 05:45 PM
Sir
Top of the day to you and I hope you and your family are well.
I am very concerned about the quality of the photograph you sent me. The logo is not very clear on it. I think you should have this retaken as I think our League HQ will reject it.
I would hate to go through all the work to have them say no because the photgraph was not acceptable.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
Enter his lawyer...
From:
halam salami
Subject:
Alhaji H.Salami
Date:
Fri 02/04/05 07:33 AM
please attach is our bill forwarded to your humble office Arse Clowns Football Club
Sent as a word document, click this
image for a graphical view of his professional bill.
And I tell the lawyer I want my photo.
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Alhaji H.Salami
Date:
Mon 02/07/05 12:06 AM
Sir
I hereby acknowledge receipt of the bill for your services in regards to the Emeka Uba matter.
It is our policy not to pay for such services until such time as the application for the player in question is completed.
Mr Uba is nearly at this stage, but we found the photograph he submitted not to be of usable quality.
We have urged him to send a better photograph (of him holding our club logo) as soon as is convenient to him.
This will enable completion of the application and once we have sent this to League HQ your payment will be a formality.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
From:
halam salami
Subject:
Alhaji H. Salami
Date:
Wed 02/09/05 07:46 AM
Attn: Ivan Goodhead
From: H . Salami
We write to acknowledge the recipt of your mail and indeed wish to thank you for coming in to take up this bill or dept of my client, Mr. Emeka P. Uba. if not for you intervention, we have since stop give him service,as we are also indepted to some other people and we need to pay up to remain in business.
As for Mr. Emeka Uba' we have suspended our services to him until we receive our money to secure his remain other documents from his team and the countries FA.
Again we say thank you in anticipation ,knowing you will keep to your promise.
Regards
Alhaji H. Salami
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Alhaji H. Salami
Date:
Wed 02/09/05 05:14 PM
Sir
That is fine and I understand your position.
Once I have the correct photograph from your client (please advise him to hurry up on this) I will be able to send your payment.
Then we can negotiate any remaining services we need to provide him.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
Give me the photo!
From:
halam salami
Subject:
Alhaji H. Salami
Date:
Mon 02/14/05 10:38 AM
Attn; Ivan Goodhead
From: Barrister H. Salami
Sir,
As regard to your request that I heisting up my client Mr. Emeka P Uba, to resent his photograph. I have made every effort to reach him in that respect but all attempt fail as I was told that he traveled home back to the village to visit his serious sick father, but I do home he will be back this week to resent the picture as it's also affecting me in collecting the payment of my bill like you promise to do.
In any case' we have to put our finger crossed hoping he will be back before weekend.
May I also on behalf of my client pray for your patient as this is exactly the kind of problem we pass through in Africa, everybody is very anxious of means to greener pasture.
Thanks for your continually understanding.
Alhaji H. Salami Write
From:
eclay
Subject:
Emeka p. Uba
Date:
Wed 02/16/05 05:47 AM
Dear Sir, How are
you and your entire family,I am sorry for the whole delay. I traveled home
for my sick father,please attached is the photograph you requested. And
again is the barrister fee,please have that at the back of your mind as
the good Lord will difinately reward you for all your kindness Sincerely
Yours Emeka P. Uba
But no photo is attached.
From:
eclay
Subject:
Hello Sir,
Date:
Wed 02/16/05 10:59 AM
ear Sir, How has
things been with you sir? this is my second mail for the day and like I
try to explain my reason of not responding to your request of re-taking
the photograph, the whole truth here is that I have been out of the city
down to my village were there's electricity much more an internet cafe,
it was until yesterday evening that I came back to meet a message from
Barrister H. Salami, that I must try and resent the photograph as it is
one of the reasons why you have not come up with his payment, that you
request him to heisting me up. though I felt for him as the young old man
has been running around for me "who are my' all this while without dime.
Nevertheless' am truly grateful to everybody who has been putting one effort
or the other to see that I cross over to my promise land, most especially
you my dear Sir' Mr. Ivan. your reward is numerous, you just can finish
counting your blessing that will follow this your kind assistance. I will
be highly pleased if you will sought out Barrister H. Salami before this
week runs out, so I can now be bold meeting him to where he stop and what
next we are to do, the good lord will compensate you sir. The photograph
I sent today' was the very best the photographer was able to print out
for me as things over here can never to be compared with what you have
in your place, this one major reason why everybody wants to play in English
league, that for bearing with me and stay bless till we meet. Emeka .P.
Uba
On and on he goes..
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Hello Sir,
Date:
Wed 02/16/05 04:44 PM
Sir
You forgot to attach the photograph to your email. Can you try send again please?
Thank you,
Ivan
From:
eclay
Subject:
Am resnding the photo incase you did't get it & my mail attach
Date:
Fri 02/18/05 03:10 AM
Dear Sir, How has
things been with you sir? this is my second mail for the day and like I
try to explain my reason of not responding to your request of re-taking
the photograph, the whole truth here is that I have been out of the city
down to my village were there's no electricity much more an internet cafe,
it was until yesterday evening that I came back to meet a message from
Barrister H. Salami, that I must try and resent the photograph as it is
one of the reasons why you have not come up with his payment, that you
request him to heisting me up. though I felt for him as the young old man
has been running around for me "who are my' all this while without dime.
Nevertheless' am truly grateful to everybody who has been putting one effort
or the other to see that I cross over to my promise land, most especially
you my dear Sir' Mr. Ivan. your reward is numerous, you just can finish
counting your blessing that will follow this your kind assistance. I will
be highly pleased if you will sought out Barrister H. Salami before this
week runs out, so I can now be bold meeting him to where he stop and what
next we are to do, the good lord will compensate you sir. The photograph
I sent today' was the very best the photographer was able to print out
for me as things over here can never to be compared with what you have
in your place, this one major reason why everybody wants to play in English
league, thanks for bearing with me and stay bless till we meet. Emeka .P.
Uba
Instead of resending the photo, he's resent his last email - idiot!
From:
eclay
Subject:
photograph attached
Date:
Fri 02/18/05 03:39 AM
photograph attached
No it isn't.
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: attached photo
Date:
Fri 02/18/05 05:26 AM
Sir
I do not know what you are doing but the photo is NOT attached to any of your emails.
Perhaps you either need to be more careful sending the email, or open a new email account at a different email service and try again since it is not working.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
From: eclay
Subject:
attached photo
Date:
Fri 02/18/05 04:04 AM
attached photo
*sigh*
From:
eclay
Subject:
Hope no problem Sir'
Date:
Wed 02/23/05 03:29 AM
Dear Sir, Hope everything is alright with you Sir, am really very worried as to why you do not respond to my mails. or you are out of your normal station or office. Please sir ' am just too curious, I need to no what the problems are. Thanks and stay bless Emeka P Uba
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Hope no problem Sir'
Date:
Wed 02/23/05 05:16 PM
Sir
I have replied to you. I still have not received your latest photo. Please send this as soon as possible! I thought you were not serious anymore.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
From:
eclay
Subject:
Attach file
Date:
Thu 02/24/05 11:24 PM
Here is the pictures
Sir, and I must apologize for the delay and the poor quality of all the
pictures as the studio, the photographers and even the camera they use
is of very low grade, I try to explain to the photograph what I actually
needed the pictures for and so I need a very sound and clear posture, yet
this was the best he can produce, please see how we can make do with that
so we can forge ahead towards my arriving to Wales to start my carrier.
Thanks for your endurance & tolerance all this while. I look forward
to no if the picture has been accepted, and please also bear in mind that
the Barrister is still on my neck as he claim that I am tossing him around
by asking him to mail you for his payment and yet you don't even respond
to him again I pray that the good lord will continue to give you everything
it takes to continue doing good as it applies to your name. You are Bless
Sir. Emeka P Uba
He explains the photo again, but still no attachment!
Time to exert a little pressure.
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Attach file
Date:
Thu 02/24/05 11:31 PM
Sir
I do not know what you are doing but the photo is NOT attached to your email. AGAIN.
Perhaps you either need to be more careful sending the email, or open a new email account at a different email service and try again since it is not working.
Please try sending it yourself BEFORE you send to me to make sure it works properly.
This is getting very embarressing. Please try and get it right.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
He takes my advice
and opens a new account.
From:
emeka uba
Subject:
please am really very sorry for the embarrasment sir
Date:
Fri 02/25/05 12:48 AM
Here is the pictures Sir, and I must apologize for the delay and the poor quality of all the pictures as the studio, the photographers and even the camera they use is of very low grade, I try to explain to the photograph what I actually needed the pictures for and so I need a very sound and clear posture, yet this was the best he can produce, please see how we can make do with that so we can forge ahead towards my arriving to Wales to start my carrier.
Thanks for your endurance & tolerance all this while. I look forward to no if the picture has been accepted, and please also bear in mind that the Barrister is still on my neck as he claim that I am tossing him around by asking him to mail you for his payment and yet you don't even respond to him again
I pray that the good lord will continue to give you everything it takes to continue doing good as it applies to your name.
You are Bless Sir.
Emeka P Uba
Here's a better photograph.
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: please am really very sorry for the embarrasment sir
Date:
Sun 02/27/05 11:42 PM
Sir
Thank you for your photograph. I shall complete the application at this end and send it through.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
With the photographic duties apparently
completed its time for the lawyer to rear his head again.
From:
halam salami
Subject:
Alhaji H. Salami & Co
Date:
Thu 03/03/05 11:55 AM
--
Click image for full view
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: please am really very sorry for the embarrasment sir
Date:
Wed 03/02/05 06:31 PM
Sir
I am happy to report that League HQ has approved our request to offer you a trial at our club.
So know I am asking you when would you like to come here for the trial? It will last a week, you will probably want to give yourself a few days either side of the trial for sightseeing and aclimitization.
Please let us know.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
I'll ignore the lawyer for the moment and give our man some good news.
From:
emeka uba
Subject:
you are truly a wonderful person
Date:
Thu 03/03/05 12:32 PM
Sir,
Their are very few people like you in the whole wide world.
you have made my day as I go through this mail, though I really don't no how many people that celebrated the day I was born, but one thing am so sure is that the Joy I had today can never be compared to that of the day I was born, you are a genius, posterity will remember, heaven will not forsake you, all your heart desire these year must be met, you are bless Sir.
One more thing sir' you know the Lawyer still have much role to play concerning my getting my travelling papers from my form club, he is still very much concern of his payment as a matter of fact I was with him today and he said he was going to mail you concerning that.
please conclude with him sir so he can provide me all legal support to enable me travel and travel very soonest, as I want to come before the 17th of this month.
I must say again' you are truly a wonderful person may the lord bless you and all that concerns you.
Thanks and stay bless
Emeka P Uba
Makes you feel warm inside it does.
From:
emeka uba
Subject:
Emeka Uba
Date:
Mon 03/07/05 12:21 PM
Hello Sir,
How are you today? I do believe is well with you.
I have not had from you again as nothing is happening at the moment concerning how am going to make my trip for the trail as, the lawyer has not receive his payment and has vehemently refuse to assist me any further and also holding back my international passport which for some time has been in his possession.
Please Sir, you have started this good work in my life and you must not give up at this point you are highly needed to help me out.
The barrister sent me a text that as I am playing on his intelligence that he will not release any of my traveling documents until his payment is made.
Am on my knee Sir knowing fully well that at this point' is only you can help me remedy the situation.
I wait your urgent respond tomorrow Sir
Thanks and stay bless
Emeka Uba
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Emeka Uba
Date:
Mon 03/07/05 07:26 PM
Sir
We are preparing everything at this end for your needs.
In the meantime, could you please provide an official receipt from your lawyer for services rendered.
We have had contact from him, but I require an itemised list of services provided with a cost against each item.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
Receipt? I meant invoice of course (even though the lawyer has already given one) - a point he picks up on.
From:
emeka uba
Subject:
Emeka Uba
Date:
Tue 03/08/05 10:23 AM
I have been in contact with him' Barrister H. Salami today requesting the lawyer to issue me the recipt of his service charge, but he refuse stating that how can he issue a receipt of a payment he has not yet received and that the way things are going, that I am taking him for granted.
But I did everything to make him understand one thing, which is the fact that he rendered the services to me but a good Samaritan from another continent entirely has taken it upon himself to pay the bill just for humanity sake, though I was not so bold facing him as he is one of the most fear Senior Advocate and also an elderly Man for that matter.
After much ado' I want to believe he will send those information across to you, am completely restless about all this problem but I pray it will soon be over.
Thank you so much Sir
Emeka Uba
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re:
Emeka Uba
Date:
Tue 03/08/05 05:55 PM
Sir
If I said "receipt" that was poor of me, what I need is the INVOICE detailing the services we are to pay for.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
From:
halam salami
Subject:
INVOICE
Date:
Thu 03/10/05 11:04 AM
Attn: Ivan Goodhead
From: Alhaji H.
Salami
Sir,
With deep
sincerity of heart, I must thank you for all the assistance you are rendering
to Mr. Emeka P Uba, just as he always told me about your kindness.
Having said this
I must also make you understand that the way am being treated in this matter
so far is really not too good, in the first place am not suppose to be
going through all the rigors I have been going through since, initially
I received a word from you that I should send my service charge, and that
immediately it gets to you, that my payment will be made to my office which
I did and many other things and most of this things are on professional
& unethical.
Please not that
am not angry with you as you are also trying to carry out a humanitarian
job and I will always commend you for that.
Sir, am again attaching the requested INVOICE that will facilitate my final payment, and I must hold you this time by your own word and I pray you to give our Organization a dully consideration while we look forward to having some more important dealing with your Organizations in future
Barrister H. Salami
Click image to see his invoice.
From:
emeka uba
Subject:
Emeka Uba
Date:
Mon 03/14/05 01:50 AM
Good-Day Sir,
How are you
doing? hope things are well with you.
Sir am still stagnated
over here as I have not heard from you or know what next to do as times
is fast move, no INVITATION LETTER YET.THE BARRISTER IS STILL HOLDING BACK
MY INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT and from the day you sent the massage that my
application has been approved is while over a week plus, so when am are
going to commence the trail as these season is fast rounding up.
Please Sir'
no what you are doing for me is not an easy thing, but come to think of
it, the truth here is that you will surely be rewarded for whatever good
we do.
Am still earnestly
counting on your great kind assistance
Thanks and stay bless.
Emeka Uba
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Emeka Uba
Date:
Mon 03/14/05 06:26 PM
Dear Emeka
Don't worry I understand your worries and let me assure you we are working towards your successful career.
The reason for the delay is there has been a new development within our club - a very exciting one I may add - that does concern your case.
We are appointing a new player agent who will be based in Lagos very shortly. We shall arrange for you to meet with him in two weeks time where you will receive your money.
Don't worry - this is not a formal meeting as such. The agent will be assessing some other players who want a trial but he will simply hand over your money to you when you identify yourself to him. I will give you more details shortly.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
Via a fellow baiter I've become aware of a mugu wedding taking place soon so I shall have our boy turn up there to collect his money.
From:
emeka uba
Subject:
Emeka P U
Date:
Thu 03/17/05 09:14 AM
I must continue to thank you imesurably,you are an embodiment of hope and encouragement to me,may the lord lift you up beyond your imagination, you shall never go down in life,even in your old age'you will find strength & mercy
Stay bless Sir
Emeka P U
He likes me.
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Emeka P U
Date:
Sun 03/20/05 10:02 PM
Dear Sir
We are pleased to announce we have planned a meeting with our new agent in Lagos.
Chimezie John will be available at St Paul's Catholic Church in Umudim, Nnwei on 29 MARCH.
He is there to visit with a number of other players who are interested in a trial, but he is aware of your case and will have your money available. Please just ask for him there and he shall have it for you. I believe 2pm will be a good time to see him.
I hope we can then complete the rest of this application.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
From:
emeka uba
Subject:
Re: Emeka P U
Date:
Tue 03/22/05 07:06 AM
Dear Sir,
How is life with you Sir? I always know you are in the safe hand of the good lord.
I have gone through your mail of Sun, 20 Mar 2005 and is well interesting, but the only thing for now you must help me do is the address were you said I should meet with the new team agent in lagos , first my reason are that the distance from lagos to the Nnwei is between nine to ten hours drive and the road is one experience you wouldnt want somebody you no to have.the road to that Nnewi is a den of notorious arm robbers hide out of which they have attack a ball team while they were going for league engagement, and the players were badly wounded that game has to be postponed , and this incident is not once or even thrice. to clear my point I will demand you not to find out the truth from Mr. Chimazie as he will not acept all this facts being the fact that he has a contract with your team, he will say is all lie,but try and find out everything I have listed in my mail from somebody you no too well that I don't know and must not be known to Mr. Chimezie, please note that, am not trying to change your plans or programs with Mr.chimezie,but is just that life is involve and you must see how you can help me again or let him call Barrister on his tel:08034092236 and they will no were best to meet.I also wish there's a way you people will make him have this meet hold in lagos as a center for sports and every other activity
Am still very much counting on you, and you will definitely cross me over to my promise land.
You are truly an embodiment of hope, may the lord reward you more than you bargain
Emeka P Uba
Sounds like a fun time ahead for our boy.
From:
emeka uba
Subject:
Emeka P U
Date:
Wed 03/23/05 06:26 AM
Sir,
Do you recieve
my mail of yesterday concerning the latest development,were you state I
should travel to meet with Mr. Chimezie .J I sincerely need your opinion
concerning that Sir'or better still help me with his telephone number if
their will be some more options to meet with him.
Please am anxiously
waiting to hear from you.
Thanks
Emeka P. U
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Emeka P U
Date:
Wed 03/23/05 05:17 PM
Dear Sir
Sorry for the delay. I had trouble getting hold of Mr Chimezie, but he has been very busy organising this meeting for the 29th. We understand your reluctance to travel there on this day, but Mr Chimezie chose this location due to the large number of talented young players in this area. That is his opinion anyway.
He feels you will be fine and he looks forward to meeting you as arranged.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
Sorry dude, you gotta travel.
From:
emeka uba
Subject:
Re: Emeka P U
Date:
Tue 03/29/05 09:39 AM
Dear Sir,
How was your
day? I must confess that I really had it tough today, though I had the
premonition before ever I left Lagos.
Let me start by
letting you know that I got to Nnewi at about 27mins to 2oclock and with
inquire I proceed to Umudim were I discover that there's nothing like St
Paul's Catholic Church, but what they have is st paul Aglican church and
st paul Apostolic church which the both churchs are located in a place
they call umuochi, as am talking now I have no money to sleep in a hotel
because this about 06:31 our local time and you no we are one hour ahead
of you people so I have to go and report myself in a police station so
I can pass a night over their as I can not proceed coming back to Lagos
at this time of the day.It was hell today,but please still remember you
have taken it upon yourself to help me out to join you in Uk.please use
your discresion to see how best we can resolve this matter,at least with
the discription I gave you Mr chidozie will no that he just wated to sofa
me for nothing
please ask him to
call the lawyer on 08034092236
thanks
Sounds like he had a fun time.
From:
emeka uba
Subject:
what is going on Sir
Date:
Wed 03/30/05 09:31 AM
What could be going on at this stage that you have almost see me true in this my journey to your team, please for the good lord sake, if their be anything going wrong either over here or in your place, for heaven sake tell me so I can no what else to do as the protocol is beginning to go out of shape, the experience I had yesterday was one I would not wish for my enemy. and one thing I still find out in this case is that because am not Mr. Chimezie candidate he might intentionally want to punish me or even go as far as trying to discourage you from assisting me, you may doubt what I have just said, but if you are a Nigerian you understand what an average Igbo man can do when it come helping somebody to succeed in life.poverty over here has twisted alot of people's heart that they no long see wickedness as a big deal,am writing from my yesterday experience,it was had to explain.
Please note Sir that the help you have choose to give me in this course is not man made but the good lord has ordain it so, please sir am prostrating begin you that I need to be with you and the team before the middle of April.
I wait to hear from you
Thanks and stay bless
Emeka P
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: what is going on Sir
Date:
Thu 03/31/05 07:37 PM
Dear Sir
I am so sorry for what has happened and the delay in my response to you.
Firstly I have been on holiday with my family which is the reason for my delay. I have spent a lovely time at the muddy holes in Llickenass and all of my family have had a fudgepacking good time as they say in those parts.
I do not understand why you missed the meeting but I did personally speak to Mr Chimezie and he is very disappointed in you. Did you ask to speak to him at the Church?
Where are you now? Perhaps I can yet still arrange for you to meet with him?
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
From:
emeka uba
Subject:
Emeka P U
Date:
Fri 04/01/05 12:58 AM
Dear Sir,
We bless the lord for granting you and your entire family journey mercy, and I still believe that the joy of the lord in your home will never depart.
Like you ask in your mail that " Mr. Chimezie was disappointed in me for not meeting with him or if I did ask to speak with him in the church" Sir please hear me out, what am trying to explain to you is that there's no church like St Paul Catholic church in Umudim and that the only churches I found their was St Pauls Anglican church and St Pauls Apostolic the both church are in a village they call Umuochi. I was taken round by a motor cycle rider who happens to be a native of that area,after I had explain my motive to the place and he willingly agree to help me, after about three to four hours the young man felt our search is becoming endless and decide to drop me, that was when I stop briefly some where to write you that mail.
Presently I have return back to Lagos waiting to no what next you would want me to do, please Sir' remember that time they say waits for no body.
I wait your respond today
Thanks
Emeka P U
Shame he couldn't find the right Church - at least he had a wasted day there anyway.
From:
emeka uba
Subject:
MY SECOND MAIL 2DA
Date:
Fri 04/01/05 09:31 AM
Hello Sir,
I just want to confirm if you did recieve my mail today as I want to know how you intend to help me sort out this problem once and for all
Thanks
Emeka P U
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: MY SECOND MAIL 2DA
Date:
Tue 04/05/05 01:52 AM
Sir
I was wondering where you were - I thought you had lost interest.
I think you should call Mr Chimezie at once on 234-8038433159.
Hopefully you two can sort out a meeting convenient to both parties.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
I give him the mobile number of some other mugu that I found on 419eater.com that we were warned that under no circumstances whatsoever we should call it as its unfair to annoy mugus.., but surely that doesn't apply to another mugu?!
From:
emeka uba
Subject:
Emeka P U
Date:
Mon 04/11/05 09:07 AM
He Sir,
Am really shot of words and no nothing to do again concerning these program. as a matter of fact am totally dismayed and disappointed at the development of events towards this my coming to UK, first I call the number 234-8038433159. you gave me and the young man that pick the call said his name is Chimezie but he does'nt no what am talking about as a matter of fact he said he is a trader at the Alaba I international market in Lagos were they sale strictly electronics, that if I wish to come and verify,I was really dumfounded, I ran to tell the barrister my experience both the recent one of me going to Nnewi all to sort his dept and get my life move on,but he only suggest I should be very careful, that hope is not a game.
Please my dear big brother' Mr. Ivan, I have seen you and take you to be a brother sent from heaven above to cross me from my red sea to a land were I will be known and rain, could you please for heave sake tell me if truly you want to help me and if yes please enclose your phone number so I can call you, also try and speak with the lawyer and beg him on my behalf so he can just give me a break, call him on +234 8034 092236
I await to hear from
you Sir
Emeka P U
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Emeka P U
Date:
Mon 04/11/05 08:26 PM
Sir
Of course we wish to help you and are very frustrated at these events you can be sure. I thought we'd be seeing you here very soon and these unfortunate delays only make our coach frustrated as well.
I can fill you in on what has happened. Mr Chimezie rang and said he had his cell phone stolen and it is likely the man you spoke to was the thief. It makes sense if he owns electronics business as maybe he sells cell phones. Or maybe it is a front and he is a total liar.
We shall call your lawyer shortly.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
Will he buy that?
Yes.
From:
emeka uba
Subject:
Emeka P U
Date:
Wed 04/13/05 03:39 AM
Sir you have raised my hope once again' like they say that without faith it's imposible to get anything right.while I want to believe you once more,please for heaven sake try and see how fast you can hesiting up things in other to fastern my coming Sir.please endeavor to speak with the lawyer before weekend
I sincerely owe you so many thanks when I cross over to UK
Emeka P U
From:
emeka uba
Subject:
Emeka P U
Date:
Thu 04/14/05 09:59 AM
Sir, How are you today? I guess you do recieve my mail yesterday,am anxuiosly waiting to hear from you Sir,I mean all that is necessary to be done which will help to speed up my arival in Wales in other to keep hope alive.
Please my dearly beloved "Gardian Angel" your reward must not pass you bye
Stay bless Sir
Emeka P E
And now just because I'm feeling lazy I'll make him wait a bit for my next email.
From:
emeka uba
Subject:
Emeka P U
Date:
Sat 04/16/05 03:22 AM
Hello Sir,
How is your
weekend today?I do hope you are still getting everything right and so do
your family too.
I just want to let
you understand that it may look very disturbing with my continous mails
to you,but please not that he that goes borrowing goes sorowing,and because
is my life and for my own betterment'I should not take any rest until I
see myself cross over to Wales'though is not been easy,but what can I do,life
has never been too easy to any man from a poor family here in Africa
Please my dearly
beloved big brother'am despirately counting on you and eargly waiting to
hear from you also.
Thanks Sir'
Emeka P.E
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Emeka P U
Date:
Sun 04/17/05 06:45 PM
Dear Sir
I understand all the frustration you must be feeling over the delays but sometimes God works in mysterious ways - we can only hope we will get it right this time!
Now I want you to understand sir I will be travelling to Lagos myself shortly to visit with Mr Chimezie and I would like to meet you in person.
I will provide my flight details shortly.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
Time to pay my pet a "visit".
Now he's gone quiet on me so I check
he's still there.
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Emeka P U
Date:
Wed 04/20/05 12:09 AM
Sir
I have not heard from you - are you still ok with everything?
I am arriving in Lagos on Wenesday 27 April. My flight arrives at 5:50pm on KLM flight#1002 and I would appreciate it if you met me at the airport - indeed if you could recommend somewhere for me to stay that would be very good.
Please let me know.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
From:
emeka uba
Subject:
Re: Emeka P U
Date:
Wed 04/20/05 02:19 AM
Sir is good to no you are coming over to Nigeria and I pray the good Lord to grant you journey mercy.
Well to were you will stay,I don't really know were Mr.Chimezie would have already suggested in other not to be faster than my shadow,but like you ask me,I would prefer you to stay in a five star hotel for security reason,here is Nigeria were anything can happen,so think about it,for Hotels' I prefer Stop Over hotel which is not far fom the Airport and their are subsequent other once around their and Airport Hotel is their also.
So make your choice and tell me.
You are bless Sir and I which you a wonderful staying in Nigeria
Emeka P U
From:
Ivan Goodhead
Subject:
Re: Emeka P U
Date:
Wed 04/20/05 06:03 PM
Sir
Mr Chimezie suggested I stay with him but I think I prefer your idea. Perhaps you could meet me at the airport and show me to this place you think is good?
Indeed perhaps I can arrange my meeting with Mr Chimezie at the hotel. I won't do this though until at least the 2nd day of my visit so we have time to get sorted out.
I look forward to meeting you.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
Will Luca meet
me at the airport? Find out in ...