FOOTBALL 419 - Ebuka Ugonna
Is this really a young kid, or some guy using his son to obtain a visa? You decide.
Dear Sir
I'm not sure how you came about my email address but I am not in a position to help you with this particular offer.
I am normally associated with assistance, donations and good will to sporting teams in need and I guess that is how you came by my contact details on the internet.
I hope you find assistance in your endeavours, or indeed if you did represent a sporting club and I misunderstood the request please feel free to come back to me.
Regards,
Wayne Kerr
Marketing Oficer
ARSE CLOWNS FOOTBALL CLUB
From this seed sent out to many mugus...
This young lad is yet another in a growing list of lads wanting a trial at ACFC. Very confused as why he would pretend to be this age but who knows.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: I RELY ON YOU SIR.
Date: Fri 30/07/2004 01:06 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
I am master Ebuka Uzor Jeff (12yrs) with Pepsi Accademy Nigeria. I am looking for an outside academy that I can join. I will be very happy if you can help me with any accademy in Europe. My parent are in surport of my playing footbal. I plays under 12 with Pepsi academy.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Thanks and God
Ebuka uzor Jeff.
He's young isn't he!
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: I RELY ON YOU SIR.
Date: Fri 30/07/2004 01:43 AM
Dear Master Ebuka
I will be more than willing to help you in this matter.
I am going to need to know a bit more about you though. Can you please
tell me about your playing career, the position you play and what
exactly is the Pepsi Academy anyway?Regards,
Simon Potter.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST.
Date: Sat 31/07/2004 02:09 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Thanks for your kind response to my mail/ request. Uncle kindly note that I am a player who can either function as a center forwarder or as an attacking midfielder .wing 9 or 10.
Pepsi football academy is a socer academy run and sponsored by the soft drink and beverages giants PEPSI COLA in conjunction with Nigerian football association (NFA) . Hence the name"PEPSI ACADEMY".
The academy staff is headed by MR KASHIMAWO LALOKO a seasoned football techician and currently techinical DIRECTOR of the Nigerian football association (NFA).
Please Uncle kindly let me know where you are from and how you intend assisting me in this regards. Please uncle kindly send me your phone number.
Waiting to hearing from you soonest.
God bless.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST.
Date: Sun 01/08/2004 11:07 PM
Dear Master Ebuka
Our club would be more than happy for you to visit our junior academy to
see if it is to your liking.Basically we can sponsor a trial period of one week here. If we think
you are good enough you can stay on and we can arrange a local school
for you here as well.Ultimately we will need your parents' written approval for this but
firstly indicate your interest and we can discuss further.Do you think such an opportunity would be to your taste?
Regards,
Simon Potter
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: Thanks for your kind and urgent response
Date: Mon 02/08/2004 03:24 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
I am very happy to receive your pleasant mail and please to inform you that I will be very greatful if your club can sponsor a trial period of one week there in your country. I will be more than willing to be there and promise to perfume very well. [Yes, we must all perfume very well!]
Already I've equaly told my parents regarding your offer and requirement of a written approval from them, which they acepted.
Could you please send me your personal phone and the clubs web-sites so that I can enter into the site to know more about your club.
Ofcourse, yes, I feel that this opportunity would be to my taste.
I AWAITS YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.
Regards,
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: Thanks for your kind and urgent response
Date: Mon 02/08/2004 09:41 PM
Dear Master Ebuka
Firstly thank you very much for your promptness and professionalism thus
far in this. You are undoubtedly the smartest 12 year old I have yet
dealt with. You will go far in life even if football does not work for
you. [Let's warm him up]Now, before we go ahead I require a letter of hand-written and signed
letter of application from your parents.They may address to me courtesy of Arse Clowns Football Club. To save us
all time they may scan the letter and email back to rather than post it.Please this is the next step and on approval of the letter we shall send
you an official invitation with more information about the club.Regards,
Simon Potter
We'll request a hand-written letter.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: Please kindly send me the whereabout of the club.
Date: Tue 03/08/2004 12:17 PM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter ,
Thanks very much for your kind and urgent response to my mail. Please kindly send me the country where this club of you is situated so that my father can adress the APPLICATION properly. My father want to know where exactly this club Arse Clowns Football Club is.
Waiting to hear from you urgently.
Thanks,
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: Please kindly send me the whereabout of the club.
Date: Tue 03/08/2004 06:23 PM
Dear Master
It was very remiss of me not to include that.
The letter should be addressed to -
Simon Potter
Arse Clowns Football Club
Cundy Stadium
South Cundy Road
Cardiff, WalesRegards,
Simon Potter
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: Urgent response required.
Date: Wed 04/08/2004 10:39 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Please kindly go through this my father's Application Below and see if there is is any ammedment. Incase there is any, kindly correct it and get back to me so that my father can then re-write it with his hand writing and scan it to you as requested. My father is even requesting for your phone number so that he can call you as well.
Waiting to hear from you urgently.
Thanks,
Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ebuka Uzor Jeff
c/o Emeka Uzor Jeff
3/5 Osayemi street, Aguda- Ogba
Lagos- Nigeria
DATE/ 04/09/2004
Tel/00234-1-4924819, 00234-1-8115524
Attn/ Mr Simon Potter,
Arse Clowns Football Club
Cundy Stadium
South Cundy Road
Cardiff, Wales.
Dear Sir,
APPLICATION FOR PLACEMENTI, the above mentioned person hereby apply for placement as a member of your football Academy team. I am Mr Emeka Uzor Jeff ,the father of Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff, the 12 year old Nigerian footballer currently under apprenticeship with Pepsi Football academy, Lagos - Nigeria.
However, I am applying as asymbol of my consent and acceptance to have my son continue the pursuit of his soccer dram within the framework of your soccer team.
Consequently, I am applying based on the conviction that with the level of soccer infrastructure in your country,your dedication to the art of soccer and other qualities such as your emphasis on the combination of both intellectual and sport development. I am conviced that with you and your football team, my son Ebuka Uzor Jeff will acquire sound intellectual upbringing as well as showcase his soccer talent to the world.
Furthermore, I count on your continued cooperation and hope that this collaboration which has started between us will be the beginning of good things to come for us.
In conclusion, Ihope to hear from you soonest on this issue and I will be very grateful if my application is granted due consideration and endorsement.
Thanks,
Yours Sincerely,
Mr Emeka Uzor Jeff.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: Urgent response required.
Date: Thu 05/08/2004 08:18 PM
Dear Master
I am quite happy with this letter. The spelling and grammar is not
perfect but that does not matter as the content is ok.Please have the letter hand written and signed and sent back to me at
your convenience and we shall move further ahead.Thank you,
Simon Potter.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: Urgent response required.
Date: Sat 07/08/2004 01:59 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Sir, I've been trying to send the scan copy of the requested Application to you since yesterday but it keepon coming back. Please kindly make a space in your email box so that it can be delievered. It is like your box is full.
Let me know immediately there is space in your box so that I can re-send the Application letter to you urgently.
Thanks,
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Not sure what this was all about... There was nothing wrong as it turns out..
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: APPLICATION LETTER ATTACHED AS REQUESTED.
Date: Sun 08/08/2004 11:52 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
I hereby attach the Application letter from my father as requested.
Please Uncle kindly help me for the approval.
I awaits your urgent response.
Thanks and God bless
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff
And it arrives. Click image for full-view
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: APPLICATION LETTER ATTACHED AS REQUESTED.
Date: Sun 08/08/2004 06:34 PM
Dear Master
Thank you for your letter of application.
Now that your request has been made official the wheels are in motion to
arrange your visit here.I will get back to you soon in regards to the next step.
Sincerely,
Simon Potter.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Application
Date: Tue 10/08/2004 09:29 PM
Dear Master Son
The club wishes to inform you that you will be accepted into our
programme.There are now a number of matter that need clearing up.
Firstly we require a photo of you and your father holding our club logo.
This photo will be used to apply for your work permit and will also
suffice for our club records.I have attached the logo to this email.
Secondly you will need to sign an application form and send back to us.
The form will be forthcoming shortly.Please return the photo as soon as possible.
Regards,
Simon Potter.
I want to see if I can get the mugu behind this on camera, assuming this isn't really a 12 year old.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Wed 11/08/2004 10:09 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Thanks very much for your kind assistance and approval of my Application. I am very happy to receive your acceptance letter. May God Amighty bless you. Please Uncle I want to inform you that my father traveled outside our state for a church crusade. Though when I got your mail, I comminicated him.
We will be taking the photo as soon as he comes back but please uncle, I was told by my father to tell you to send us the form so that every thing has to be completed at once when he comes back.
Again, uncle my father is still requesting for your or the clubs address and telephone numbers so that he can reach you directly on phone.
I've been trying to see if I can open the clubs web-site but it's not through. Could you please send me the correct clubs web-site so that I can enter into it.
I am waiting for this informations and Application Form from you sir. Please Uncle kindly send me the clubs web-site as requested.
Thanks and God bless.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Wed 11/08/2004 07:03 PM
Dear Son
I have enclosed the application form as requested.
Please fill in and return to us with the photo.Regards,
Simon Potter.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Thu 12/08/2004 06:10 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
I wish to inform you that I received the attached application form. Thanks very much sir. Please the application form and the Photo will be sent to you as soon as my father comes back. Please uncle, you forget to send me the requested web-site of your FOOTBALL CLUB and your telephone number. Could you please sir kindly send me the web-site and your telephone numbers.
I am looking forward to receive this information in your return mail.
Thanks and God bless.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Fri 13/08/2004 01:11 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Good morning sir, Please uncle I am still waiting to receive your phone number and the web-site of the club as I pleaded with you yesterday.Hope to receive this informations today.
Thanks and God bless.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Fri 13/08/2004 01:33 AM
Dear Sonny
Our website is located at http://www.arseclowns.com/ [the domain actually exists but no website but there's just a placeholder there.]
and my phone number is +44 207 704 4242 [An Arsenal FC related phone number]Regards,
Simon.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Fri 13/08/2004 09:35 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
I received the information and your phone number. Already I have passed your phone number to my father and he promised calling you from their place of Crusade.Meanwhile, I have gone into the Clubs web but I realy found exactly the programes of the club. Please kind direct me on how to get the program from the web.
Thanks and God bless.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Sun 15/08/2004 07:10 PM
Dear Ebuka
I am not sure I understand what you are saying? I gave you the web site
address and phone number, what else is wrong?In any event we are waiting for your completed application form and
photo.Please let me know if you have any further questions.
Regards,
Simon Potter.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Mon 16/08/2004 05:28 AM
Dear Simon Potter,
Please Uncle kindly understand me, I tried to enter the web-site but I don't understand the Clubs programe, that's why I want you to direct me how how to enter the web so that I can for your programes or activities of the club.
Sir, my father told me that he have been trying to reach you with the number that you send to me but somebody is talking what he dont understand. Please uncle, which time can my father get you directly on the number. Please I want to know that from you so that I can ask my father to call you that time.
Thanks and God bless.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
We'll tiptoe around his questions of course...
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Tue 17/08/2004 05:56 PM
Dear Master
The web site address is www.arseclowns.com as I stated. Thats all there
is to it.Please forward your application soon as our 2004/05 intake will soon be
closed.Regards,
Simon Potter.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Ebuka Uzor Jeff. Information required attached.
Date: Wed 18/08/2004 10:22 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Please sir, I hereby attached the copies of the Signed Application form, my photos together with my fathers photo as requested. Hope to join you soonest.
I awaits for your urgent response.
Thanks and God bless.
Your son ,
Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Click image for full-view
Click image for full-view
Click image for full-view
Where's his father then?
Oh here he is ...
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Ebuka Uzor Jeff. My photo & My Father's photo
Date: Wed 18/08/2004 10:40 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Please sir, I hereby attached the copies of the Signed Application form, my photos together with my fathers photo as requested. Hope to join you soonest.
I awaits for your urgent response.
Thanks and God bless.
Your son ,
Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Click image for full-view
Click image for full-view
Obviously not impressed with the photo of his father but will let it go for now.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Thu 19/08/2004 03:15 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Please Sir, I hope you received my/my father's information as you requested. Please Sir what is the next step.
I am waiting to hear from you soonest.
Thanks and God bless.Your Son,
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Thu 19/08/2004 06:13 PM
Dear Son
We have received everything well.
Please note we will be back to you very soon in regards to the next step
- most likely next week.Regards,
Simon Potter.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Mon 23/08/2004 06:15 PM
Dear Master Ebuka
We now need you to fill in the attached questionaire if you would be so
kind.Regards,
Simon Potter.
And I attach a silly questionaire for him.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Wed 25/08/2004 10:02 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Sir I enclosed the attached scan copies of the questionaire as requested. Could you please let me know soonest upon the receipt of this mail.
God bless you sir.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Wed 25/08/2004 10:23 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Sir I enclosed the attached scan copies of the questionaire as requested. Could you please let me know soonest upon the receipt of this mail.
God bless you sir.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
As you can see the form got split up over two emails. Here are all the completed pages. Click each image to enlarge.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: Hope to receive your urgent response.
Date: Tue 31/08/2004 05:26 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Please Uncle, I wish to inform you that I am still waiting to hear from you to know the position of things from you.
Hope to receive your urgent response.Remain blessed.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: Hope to receive your urgent response.
Date: Wed 01/09/2004 11:02 PM
Dear Master Son
I am very pleased with your results. You did not get 100% but you did
well enough.We shall be finalising this procedure soon.
Regards,
Simon Potter
Actually I didn't even bother to check his answers.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: Hope to receive your urgent response.
Date: Wed 08/09/2004 01:48 AM
Dear Master Son
I apologise for the delays. We have not forgotten you and will get back
to you shortly.Regards,
Simon Potter
Keep him waiting...
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Thu 09/09/2004 06:34 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
I received your mail with much thanks and I am very happy to hear from you once again. Please I awaits to hear from you soonest as promised so as to know the next step or how to get myself prepared.
May God Almighty be with you sir.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Once again I'll go for the trick of having them take their passport to the High Commission and seeing what happens - as done with Olu Aina, Murphy Badmus and George Amachukwu.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Wed 15/09/2004 07:11 PM
Dear Son
We are ready to arrange your stay with us. Before you do you will
require your passport stamped with a work visa.You will need to deliver the relevant passport to -
Deputy High Commission
11 Walter Carrington Crescent,
Victoria Islandto have it stamped accordingly. Please put it in an envelope
addressed to Mr Gordon Bennet and leave at reception with of course your
address and contact details enclosed.He will know what to do.
Once this is done we shall get your flight organised.
Regards,
Simon Potter
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Fri 17/09/2004 10:19 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
I received your mail with much joy in my hart to hear that you have finaly acept my stay with your football club. Thanks for your kind assistance. Hopefuly I will submit my passport to the Deputy High Commission 11 Walter Carrington Crescent,
Victoria Island on monday as you directed. I will also get back to you after I might have submitted it.Thanks and God bless.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff. URGENT ATTENTION REQUIRED.
Date: Mon 20/09/2004 10:35 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
I wish to inform you that we went to the Deputy High Commission Victoria Island to submitt my International Passport with an envelope addressed to Mr Gordon Bennet as you directed but unfortnately the receptionist refused to collect the envelope contain this passport from us, saying that there is no REFFRENCE NO on the envelope.
Please Uncle kindly send us the REFFRENCE NO so that we can go back tommorow for the submission. Incase you don't have any REFFRENCE NO with you there, Please kindly contact Mr Gordon Bennet so that he can give you one since the envelope is addressed to him. He will know the REFFRENCE NO.
I am waiting to receive this information from you
Thanks and God bless you sir.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Well my mugus haven't been asked that before.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: Urgently waiting for your response.
Date: Tue 21/09/2004 01:31 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Good morning Sir. Please I want to inform you that I am still waiting to receive the REFFRENCE NUMBER from you as requested by the Deputy High Commission before they will collect the envelope containing my International Passport from me.
Hope to hear from you soonest.
Thanks and God bless.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Tue 21/09/2004 08:14 PM
Dear Son
The reference number you require is 2315471625.
Regards,
Simon Potter
So I make up a reference number.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: The Embassy receptionst still refuse to collect my Inter. Passport.
Date: Thu 23/09/2004 06:59 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
I wish to inform you that we went back to the Embassy to for the submission of my international passport with the Reference number as requested but the receptionst still refuse to collect it from us saying that Mr Gordon Benneth did not ask him to do so. Please uncle try and contact Mr Gordon Benneth as regards to this matter. If you can tell me exactly the date that I should go back so that Mr Gordon Benneth will be away of my coming and instruct the receptionst to collect my International passport from us. I intend going back tomorrow if I get your urgent response today.
I awaits your urgent response.
Thanks and God bless.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Let's make up another story.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: The Embassy receptionst still refuse to collect my Inter. Passport.
Date: Thu 23/09/2004 06:27 PM
Dear Son
OK I've done some research and we have a small problem.
Because you are under-age I need to apply for a guardianship from the
League of Wales.This will require more proof and work on your behalf but it will be
worth it in the end.I need you to arrange a photo (like the one you have me before) but all
of your family members must be in it.So please arrange a photo with all your family holding our club logo.
(I have attached the club logo to this email again in case you lost it
from before.)Please send me this photo and this will be given to the League to
provide us with the proper receipt number.Regards,
Simon Potter
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Sat 25/09/2004 10:43 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
I received your mail just some couple of hours ago and I am very confussed, hearing that I will re-take the picture again holding the clubs logo with all my family members. Now my father traveled out of the city and I don't know when actualy he is coming back. Could you please advise me on what next to do please. Is there no other way you can handle this situation, since you are with my pictures and that of my father already.
My father have been trying to reach you with this number +442077044242 since to know if he can talk with you regarding this matter but after ringing, programed computer voice will be directing. If possible sir, please kindly send me your direct line or mobile number so that my father can get you directly on phone.
I am waiting for your urgent response.
God bless you sir.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Mon 27/09/2004 12:38 AM
Dear Son
I look forward to receiving the new photo. Please hurry, we are running
out of time.Regards,
Uncle Simon
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Mon 04/10/2004 11:23 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
I am very sorry for my late response. Please uncle, like I earlier stated, my father is not arround and we have been waiting for him before we should take the family group photo as requested by you but it's like time is getting out of hand. Please I want to inquire from you if we can take the photo inabsents of my father since you are with his picture. If it is aceptable sir, kindly let me know so that we can take it and forward you a scan copy of it as requested immediately.
I awaits your urgent response.
Thanks and God bless.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Mon 04/10/2004 06:08 PM
Dear Master
I am afraid this is not at all acceptable. The league's rules are very
strict and I must abide by them.Please insist you father come home and make this possible or your career
will be ruined.Regards,
Simon Potter
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Thu 07/10/2004 02:03 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Good morning sir, hope all is well with you. May thanks be to God Almighty.
Please sir, I wish to know from you how this picture should be taking, Hope is only me that will hold the club's logo in the picture and not the entire family.
Please kindly get back to me so that we can not do any mistake.
I awaits your urgent response.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Thu 07/10/2004 05:57 PM
Dear Young Sir
I have already explained to you that we require you AND your parents in this photo.
I am very sorry about this but these are the rules. I already have a photo of just you, but this is not enough.
Thank you,
Simon Potter
Hurry up and do it already!
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Sat 09/10/2004 11:11 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Please sir, kindly find the attached picture of me and my parents together with my brothers and sister as you requested.
Thanks and God bless you sir.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff
He attaches two poor quality photos of his family, and a completely different magazine photo of his father - which again I will ignore for now. Click image to see full-view. I will attempt to get better quality photos of the family.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Sun 10/10/2004 06:18 PM
Dear Young Master
That is a lovely photo and you have a beautiful family - please pass on my greetings.
The only problem is the scans you sent me are quite blocky - can you please improve the quality of the scans and send again to me? I cannot send the photos to League HQ in this state I am afraid.
Regards,
Simon Potter
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Wed 13/10/2004 08:43 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Please Uncle kindly find the attached re-scan of our picture as requested.
Hope this will meet your demand.
Thanks for your kind understanding.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
And here they are. Click images to see full-view.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Mon 18/10/2004 11:49 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Sir I wish to know the position of things from you. When I am likely to receive the invitation from the club via you now that I have completed the requirement.
Hope to hear from you urgently.
Thanks for your kind understanding.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Wed 20/10/2004 09:54 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Good day Sir, I wish to inform you that I am still waiting to hear from you regarding the position of things. Hope to hear from you sir.
May God Almighty bless you.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Thu 21/10/2004 08:08 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Sir, I wish to inform you that I am still waiting to hear from you.Thanks,
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
As you can see I've been ignoring him. Not deliberate really - have just been neglecting my baiting duties somewhat.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: What is the position of things.
Date: Sat 23/10/2004 08:17 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Sir, please I hope all is well with you. I am highly concerned about your long silence to my mails. Please sir, kindly talk to me so that I will know the position of things. I awaits your urgent response sir.
Thanks and God bless.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Finally I come up with a silly response.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Mon 25/10/2004 01:08 AM
Dear Ebuka
I do apologise for my delay in responding to you but I have had a very trying time yet again. My cat Fluffy died recently and I have spent a lot of time and money organising the funeral which was held yesterday. You will be glad to hear of course that it was a beautiful service and all the players and coaching staff of ACFC were in attendance to pay their respects.
Now that my mind is back on more mundane matters I will get back to your trial invitation.
Please expect my response in a couple of days.
Regards,
Simon Potter
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Tue 26/10/2004 08:41 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
I received your mail and I am very sorry to hear about the death of your cat Fluffy, Please acept my coldense. I await to hear from you as regards to the trial invitation as promised.
Thanks and God bless.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Sun 31/10/2004 03:49 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
How are you today, sir, hope fine. Please sir I wish you that I am still waiting to hear from you as promised.
Thanks and God bless.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Finally I give him another task to do.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Sun 31/10/2004 06:24 PM
Dear Ebuka
Once again I apologise for the delays in organising your trial. As you well know it has been a difficult time for me of late but I have recently been working behind the scenes to get you a trial.
It is time now to point out to you what has been going on.
You will recall I am sure that I have frequently asked for a photo of your father holding our club logo in regards to your application. Always he is away and unavailable for this task.
I have tried to use your family photo for this purpose but as your father is listed as your legal guardian I must have his photo with the logo.
It is no good to just send me a plain photo of him.
Please attend to this task at once as we are running out of time.
Regards,
Simon Potter
A long time goes by and no response and I think he's given up. But then...
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Wed 15/12/2004 02:33 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Happy Xmas. I wish to inform you that have been busy with my exams, that's why I have not been able to reach you earlier than this time. Please sir, I want to know the present situation regarding my trial.What is still holding my invitation.I will be glad to receive a pleasnt response from you.
Hope to hear from you urgently.
Thanks and God bless.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Thu 16/12/2004 10:26 PM
Dear Young Master
It is a pleasure to hear from you again. I hope you went well in your exams.
You know your exams are much more important than playing football and I hope you give your studies serious consideration as I am sure you do.
In any event now that the work is over it is time for some fun and I hope you have thought about your application.
Remember I still need to see a photo of your father holding our club logo to complete your application.
I hope you are forthcoming.
Regards,
Simon Potter
However despite the resurrection he does not reply again, so ...
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Mon 03/01/2005 07:44 PM
Dear Strapping Young Lad
Compliments of the season to you and your family - I hope you are all healthy and happy and had a brilliant time over the festive season.
All pleasantries aside I must now inform you that if you wish to take up your offered trial with this club you must act in haste and provide the photo of your father holding our club logo AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!
Please advise your intentions and excuses for the delays when you get this email.
Regards,
Uncle Simon Potter
It takes about a month for him to get back to me.
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Sat 05/02/2005 11:42 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
How are you today sir, hope fine. Uncle I want to inform you that my father have been back from his trip and we have taken the picture as you demanded or requested with the clubs logo. Upon the receipt of your return mail, I will be sending the scanned copy to you.
Meanwhile I wish to inform you that I saw one of your student or player on our popular Television programme " KKB SHOW" by name BADO playing {9}. Infact I was very happy to see a Nigerian who says that he joined ARSE CROWNS FOOTBALL CLUB CARADIFF at 4years of age and today he is playing with your club's jnr team.
[REALLY???]
Uncle, I will be more than happy if you can as well put me through with him.
I am waiting to hear from you urgently sir.
Remain blessed.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
Date: Sun 06/02/2005 06:04 PM
Young Master
It is good to hear from you again. Yes, please - send the photograph and we shall complete the application.
Best Regards,
Uncle Simon
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: scan copy of our picture
Date: Tue 08/02/2005 10:51 AM
pics
Ebuka and his father. Click image to see full-view.
I'm going to be fussy.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: scan copy of our picture
Date: Tue 08/02/2005 06:13 PM
Dear Young Master
I am very much appreciative you are finally taking your career seriously and we are now nearly ready to complete your application.
The quality of this photograph is not very good though - it looks like your father is holding up a blank piece of paper.
Could you please either re-scan or retake the photograph so that it is evident the logo is clear.
Regards,
Simon Potter
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff Our Picture with Club's Logo as required.
Date: Sun 13/02/2005 08:39 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
I got your mail and we have re-taken the picture as you instructed and it is clearer now.
regards,
Yours,
Ebuka Uzor Jeff
Ebuka and his parents. Click images to see full-view.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff Our Picture with Club's Logo as required.
Date: Tue 15/02/2005 05:30 PM
Young Master
The clarity of your latest photograph is not much better, but if I combine them all together I think I can send these to League HQ and they will be accepted.
I shall get back to you very soon with the next step.
Regards,
Simon Potter
Time to move this bait in a different direction, but first I'll make him wait a bit.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Approved
Date: Wed 02/03/2005 05:58 PM
Dear Young Master
I wish to advise you that the League HQ has approved our request to give you a trial.
This means you can now arrange to visit our club at your convenience. When do you intend to arrive here? Remember the trial lasts a week.
Regards,
Simon Potter
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: From Ebuka Uzor Jeff
Date: Thu 03/03/2005 02:30 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
I received your mail and glad to hear that my application have been aproved by the Club. May thanks be to God Almighty and you for assisting me.
I hope to be there as soon as possible, though you knows that I've not gotten my visa. It all depends on you and the club now regarding the visa. If you sends me the invitation letter with every of the visa requirement and the person to submitte my International Passport to in Britsh Embessy, I will follow it up immediately and promise to be there for the trial as soon as I obtain the VISA.
Uncle please try and notisfy the person in the Britsh Embassey about me, even I will suggest this time arround that you fax every documents regarding my visit directly to the Embassey so that it will not be like the previous attempt. Incase you require my International Passport No, please let me know so that I can forward it to you immediately.
I hope to hear from you urgently.
Thanks and remain blessed.
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: From Ebuka Uzor Jeff
Date: Thu 03/03/2005 08:00 PM
Young Master
I am not sure what I have on record but let's start fresh with this particular part of the procedure.
Please provide me with the following details and I shall have an invitation letter drafted for the purposes outlined.
Your full name (as it appears on your passport):
Your passport number:
Passport issue date:
Passport exiry date:
Passport place of issue:Thank you,
Simon Potter
From: Ebuka Ugonna
Subject: Hope to hear from you soonest.
Date: Fri 04/03/2005 07:47 AM
Dear Uncle Simon Potter,
Thanks for your mail of today. Below are the informations as requested.
My full name (as it appears on your passport): JEFF EBUKA UZOR
My passport number: A2617690
Passport issue date: 17TH SEPT. 2004
Passport exiry date:16TH SEPT.2009
Passport place of issue: IKEJA-LAGOS
Place of Birth: LAGOS
Nationality: NIGERIA
HOME ADDRESS/
JEFF EBUKA UZOR
C/0 MR & MRS JEFF EMEKA UZOR.
3/5 OSAYEMI STREET
AGUDA OKEIRA OGBA
LAGOS NIGERIA
TEL/ +23414924819Please uncle try and fax a copy of the invitation letter with every other requirements to directly to the Embassey , attention to the person in the Embassey that will be incharge of my file there so that it will not be like that of before.
Hope to hear from you soonest.
Thanks,
Master Ebuka Uzor Jeff.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: Hope to hear from you soonest.
Date: Tue 08/03/2005 06:27 PM
Dear Young Master
I have faxed your details to the British Deputy High Commission in Lagos as requested.
Regards,
Simon Potter
A complete lie of course.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: Hope to hear from you soonest.
Date: Sun 13/03/2005 06:47 PM
Dear Young Master
I have faxed the documents as you requested and have not heard from you.
Have you visited the High Commission yet?
Regards,
Uncle Simon
He's taking his time so I continue to try to chase him. Normally I'm not fussed about their delays but I want him to gatecrash a mugu wedding that's coming up.
From: Simon Potter
Subject: Re: Hope to hear from you soonest.
Date: Mon 14/03/2005 08:46 PM
Dear Ebuka
I still have not heard fom you. I have important information regarding your visa to give you but I'll hold onto it until I have heard from you.
Regards,
Simon Potter
Well, looks like he's disappeared again.
End.
