FOOTBALL 419 - Dahunnsancelia Isdambuli & Oscar Football Club
The following was "accidentally" sent to Dahunnsancelia Isdambuli in the assumption he will pretend he is Emeka Uba and hijack what's on offer..
From: Ivan Goodhead
Subject: Re: Application
Date: Sun 06/13/04 09:58 PM
Dear Emeka Uba
The directors have approved your application for a donation to Oscar Football Club of Lagos.
Arse Clowns Football Club will be happy to provide you with £10,000 for the purposes outined in your application letter.
If you are still happy with this arrangement we can move onto the next
step and we shall discuss further details. Otherwise if any changes need
to be made let me know.Ivan Goodhead
Marketing Oficer
ARSE CLOWNS FOOTBALL CLUB
From: dahunnsancelia isdambuli
Subject: I AM MUCH INTRESTED
Date: Mon 06/14/04 05:53 AM
HELLO IVAN,
I AM STILL MUCH INTRESTED IN OUR ARRANGEMENT.LET US DISCUSS ANY OTHER FUTHER DETAILS.THERE IS NO OTHER CHANGES I NEED TO MADE.I AM HOPING TO GET A POSTIVE REPLY AS SOON AS POSIBLE.THANKS A MILLIONS TIMES.
From: Ivan Goodhead
Subject: Re: I AM MUCH INTRESTED
Date: Mon 06/14/04 05:59 PM
Dear Emeka
I am glad we are settled.
As we agreed the money will be sent you via Western Union at the
completion our the application procedure.Whilest the donation is a mere formality now I still cannot hand it over
until you have signed the application form and provided us with the
team photo as specified.So, to become a Mascot Associate member the following requirements will
need to be met -1. You will need to sign an application letter which is currently being
prepared. You will need to scan the signed letter and send it back to me.2. You will send a team photo with every player in your squad, and the
coach and director of the club. Every person in the photo must be
holding a printed copy of our team name. I will provde an appropriate
image for this when I send you the application letter. It is important
that you find a good photographer for this photo and when you scan it to
send back to us you do so at no less than 1024 pixels wide.
I will remind you again of these conditions when the application letter
is ready.Congratulations!
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead
Marketing Oficer
ARSE CLOWNS FOOTBALL CLUB
From: dahunnsancelia isdambuli
Subject: I WILL STICK TO EVERY CONDITION'S
Date: Tue 06/15/04 05:35 AM
HELLO IVAN,
I RECIVED YOUR POSTIVE REPLY THIS AFTERNOON.FIRST OF ALL I WANT TO THANK YOU AND ARSE CLOWN FOOTBALL CLUB PARTICULARLY.I WILL SIGN EVERY THING AS YOU STIPULATED AND SENT IT BACK TO YOU.I WILL SENT THE TEAM PHOTO,COACH AND DIRECTOR AS YOU SAID.SO KINDLY SENT THE APPLICATION LETTER TO ME.I WILL DEFINATLY STICK TO ANY CONDITION YOU GAVE.I WOULD BE VERY GRATEFUL IF THIS DONATION IS POSTIVELY GRANTED.
THANK'S A MILLION'S TIME'S.
What? Not even the slightest bit sceptical? He doesn't even bother to change his name nor explain why an obviously completely different email account is responding to the mail. I won't point this out to him of course.
From: Ivan Goodhead
Subject: Re: I WILL STICK TO EVERY CONDITION'S
Date: Tue 06/15/04 08:30 PM
Dear Emeka
I have attached the application letter and club logo to this email.
The letter must be signed by you and sent back to me.
The club logo must be printed out and held by every member of the squad
for a photo to be sent to us. I specified this in the previous email.I hope you have a clear understanding of what needs to be done.
Let me offer my congratulations in advance for the wonderful work you
will be doing with your club.Regards,
Ivan Goodhead.
From: dahunnsancelia isdambuli
Subject: Fwd: application form
Date: Fri 06/18/04 11:10 AM
HELLO GOODHEAD,
I AM VERY SORRY FOR NOT REPLYING YOUR MAIL EARLIER,IT WAS DUE TO SOME UNAVOIDABLE CIRCUMSTANCES.WE TRAVELLED TO ENUGU STATE FOR A FRIENDLY MATCH ON THAT 16TH AND PLAYED AGAINST ENUGU RANGERS WHICH WE WON BY 3 GOALS TO 2,AND CAME BACK TODAY AND SAW YOUR MAIL. THE APPLICATION HAS BEEN SIGNED IN THE ATTCHED FILE AS YOU SPECIFIED,BUT I WILL SEND THE PHOTOGRAPH TO YOU BY TOMORROW,BECAUSE WE COULDN'T TAKE IT TODAY,BECAUSE I BELIVE YOU WILL WANT SOMETHING RECENT.SEE THE ATTACHMENT FOR THE APPLICATION I SIGNED.Note: forwarded message attached.
D.S.I22CSYN
The (forged) signed form arrives. Click image to see full view.
From: dahunnsancelia isdambuli
Subject: Fwd: ARSE CLOWN PICTURES
Date: Sat 06/19/04 07:41 AM
HELLO IVAN,
I HOPE YOU RECIVED THE APPLICATION LETTER I SIGNED AND SENT YESTERDAY.NOW THIS IS THE OSCAR CLUB PICTURES WE TAKE IN THIS MORNING EXERCISE,IT WAS ATTACHED IN THE FILE BELOW.FINALY THE OSCAR FOOTBALL MANAGER AND THE ENTIRE CLUB SAID I SHOULD USE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO THANK THE ARSE CLOWN AND THEIR MANAGER IMMENSLY FOR THEIR KINDNES TO DONATE TO OSCAR FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THE CLUB.FINALY WE RISE OUR CAPS FOR ARSE CLOWN,WE ARE USEING THIS OPPORTUNITY TO SAY A MILLIONS THANKS TO ARSE CLOWN FOOTBALL CLUB IN GERNERAL FOR THE GREATEST DONATION THEY ARE DONATING TO OSCAR FOOTBALL CLUB,WE WILL BE VERY GREATFUL IF THIS DONATION IS POSTIVELY GRANTED.THANKS A MILLIONS TIMES IN THE NAME OF THE ENTIRE OSCAR FOOTBALL CLUB TO ARSE CLOWN FOOTBALL CLUB.
EMEKA UBA. PUBLIC RELATION OFFICER (P.R.O)/ASSISTANT COACH.Note: forwarded message attached.
D.S.I22CSYN
Click image to see full view.
Click image to see full view.
Click image to see full view.
Too easy...
From: Ivan Goodhead
Subject: Re: Fwd: ARSE CLOWN PICTURES
Date: Sun 06/20/04 10:02 PM
Dear Emeka
Thank you. I acknowledge receipt of your letter and photos.
They will be taken for consideration of approval (I'm sure this is no
problem) and we will get back to you.I look forward to working with you.
Sincerely,
Ivan Goodhead.
From: dahunnsancelia isdambuli
Subject: Re: Fwd: ARSE CLOWN PICTURES
Date: Mon 06/21/04 03:33 AM
HELLO IVAN,
WE RECIVED THE MAIL YOU SENT,ABOUT RECEIPT OF THE APPLICATION LETTER AND THE PHOTOS.WE HOPE YOU ARE OK WITH THAT.
NOW, WHAT IS THE NEXT STEP TO TAKE.WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO RECIVE ARSE CLOWN POSTIVE ANSWER.
THANKS A MILLIONS TIMES.EMEKA UBA.
From: Ivan Goodhead
To: dahunnsancelia isdambuli
Subject: Re: Fwd: ARSE CLOWN PICTURES
Date: Tue 06/22/04 06:45 PM
Dear Sir
You will be happy to hear that your application is fully approved.
We will get back to you in a day or two with your payment details.
Sincerely,
Ivan Goodhead.
Well I'll let him think for now that he's going to get his money.
From: dahunnsancelia isdambuli
Subject: entire jasper is highly thankful
Date: Wed 06/23/04 06:03 AM
HELLO IVAN,
THE ENTIRE JASPER FOOTBALL CLUB IS HIGLY THANKFUL FOR THE DONATION THE ARSE CLOWN FOOTBALL CLUB IS ABOUT TO RENDER TO THEM,ALL THE EXECUTIVE AND THE PLAYERS SAID I SHOULD THANKS ARSE CLOWN GREATLY.THANKS TO THE ARSE CLOWN A MILLIONS TIMES AGAIN.WE ARE WAITHING TO HEAR FROM YOU VERY SOON AS POSSIBLE.
EMEKA UBA
Jasper? Oh, he means Oscar. Idiot!
From: "dahunnsancelia is-dambuli"
Subject: we are waiting for your reply
Date: Sat 06/26/04 10:55 AM
HELLO IVAN,
I WOULD HAVE EMAIL YOU EARLIER BUT DUE TO THE PROBLEM WITH
YAHOO I COULD NOT,I CANT RECIVE OR SEND MAIL THROUGH IT AND I DECIDED TO
USE FASTERMAIL.WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY SINCE YOUR LAST MAIL
ON TUESDAY WHICH YOU SAID THAT OUR APPLICATION IS FULLY APPROVED AND
THAT YOU WILL GET BACK TO US IN A DAY OR TWO TO GIVE US THE PAYMENT
DETAILS, BUT SINCE THEN WE COULD NOT GET A MAIL FROM YOU SO I DECIDED TO
EMAIL YOU TO KNOW HOW FAR.PLEASE WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU GET TO US
SPECIFICALLY AND POSTIVELY AS SOON AS POSIBLE.THANKS A MILLIONS TIMES.
EMEKA UBA.
REPLY WITH THIS EMAIL ADDRESS-dsi22csyn@xxx
From: dahunnsancelia isdambuli
Subject: Re: Fwd: ARSE CLOWN PICTURES
Date: Sat 06/26/04 11:25 AM
HELLO IVAN,
WE HAVE BEEN EXPCTING YOUR MAIL SINCE LAST TUESDAY BUT WE COULD NOT HEAR FROM YOU.PLEASE GET BACK TO US AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.THANKS.EMEKA UBA
From: Ivan Goodhead
Subject: Re: we are waiting for your reply
Date: Sun 06/27/04 08:35 PM
Dear Sir
I hope this fine day finds you in good spirits and harmony.
Sorry for the delay in getting back to you but we had a few problems at
the club. Some players are protesting about their contracts and
barricaded themselves in the clubrooms. We were unable to access our
offices for a few days and we had to send in the riot squad to disperese
them - eventually.The tear gas has finally been aired out and I can get back to my
terminal to inform you of progress.Hence I am letting you know we are ready to pay the donation. We are
having a cheque drafted up for you.Can you please tell me the name we should put on the cheque. Should it
be the club's name or a personal name?And of course the address we should send it to.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead.
Mugus don't like cheques..
From: "dahunnsancelia is-dambuli"
Subject: Re: we are waiting for your reply
Date: Mon 06/28/04 06:25 AM
HELLO IVAN,
FIRST OF ALL, A MILLIONS THANKS TO ARSE CLOWN FOOTBALL CLUB
FOR BEEN READY TO PAY THE DONATION TO OSCAR FOOTBALL,THE ENTIRE CLUB
HIGHLY APPRECIATE THE KIND GESTURE OF ARSE CLOWN F.C.NOW,IN WHAT
METHOD DO YOU WANT TO USE TO SEND THE MONEY,WE SUGGEST IT TO BE
THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER,THAT IS THE ONLY MEANS YOU CAN
SEND IT SUCCESFULY AND SAFELY,BUT YOU HAVE TO SEND IT TWICE BECAUSE THE
CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA AND THE BANKS IN NIGERIA PROHIBIT THE
TRANSFER OF MORE THAN 7,500 POUNDS DAILY,SO YOU HAVE TO SEND THE 10,
THOUSAND POUNDS TWICE,THE FIRST DAY FIVE THOUSAND POUNDS THE SECOND
DAY FIVE THOUSAND POUNDS TO AVOID VOILATING C.B.N AND WESTERN UNION
MONEY TRANSFER RULES AND REGULATIONS.
FINALY,ON THE ISSUE OF WHAT NAME YOU WILL USE TO SEND THE
MONEY,I HAVE DISCUSSED WITH OUR DIRECTOR AND HE ADVICED ME ON WHAT
TO DO.YOU CAN USE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING NAMES BELOW:[1]THE NAME OF THE OSCAR F.C FINACIAL SECRETARY[MR.MICHEAL OKOYE]
[2]THE NAME OF THE OSCAR F.C TREASURER [CHIEF.CHIEDU AMAECHI]
[3]OSCAR FOOTBALL CLUB OF LAGOS,NIGERIA.
THE ADDRESS IS: OSCAR FOOTBALL CLUB OF LAGOS,NIGERIA
3A BAIYE STREET
OFF OLATILAWA STREET
SURULERE,LAGOS,NIGERIA.I ADVICE YOU TO SEND THE MONEY THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER,
WHEN YOU SENT IT YOU INFORM ME AND GIVE ME THE PASSWORD,THE TEST
QUATION AND ANSWER AND EVERY OTHER THINGS INVOLVED IN CLAIMING THE
MONEY HERE.
I WOULD LIKE TO STOP HERE TILL NEXT TIME,WE ARE HOPING
TO GET A POSTIVE REPLY FROM YOU AS SOON AS POSIBLE,WE WOULD BE VERY
GRATEFUL IF THIS DONATION IS POSTIVELY GRANTED.THANKS TO ARSE CLOWN
FOOTBALL CLUB A MILLIONS TIMES.EMEKA UBA
Surprise, surprise .. Western Union.
From: Ivan Goodhead
Subject: Re: we are waiting for your reply
Date: Mon 06/28/04 08:38 PM
Dear Sir
I understand what you are saying. Western Union seems a bit unusual for
the way we normally deal with this kind of thing but we will bow to your
request.It will cause us a delay though because the money had already been
cleared to our cheque account. So we will have to transfer it back to
our general account before I can access it via the Western Union office.
This will take three days to clear because I will require our director's
signature and he is away on a rolfharris hunting trip but returns soon.Anyway I will advise you when I have been able to forward the money.
Best of luck,
Ivan Goodhead.
Another delay for their money..
From: "dahunnsancelia is-dambuli"
Subject: Re: we are waiting for your reply
Date: Fri 07/02/04 08:48 AM
HELLO IVAN,
HOW IS LIFE IN GENERAL,HOPE FINE,WE HAVE BEEN LOOKING
FORWARD TO HEAR FROM YOU BUT ALL OF NO AVAIL.
SO,HOW FAR WHAT IS PRESENTLY HAPPENING.PLEASE GET BACK TO US AND
INFORM US OF THE PRESENT SITUATION OF THINGS NOW.
WE ARE HOPING TO HEAR FROM YOU.THANKS.
EMEKA UBA.
From: Ivan Goodhead
Subject: Re: we are waiting for your reply
Date: Sun 07/04/04 10:14 AM
Dear Sir
The directors return tomorrow and I will be able to finalise details
then. As I said I was hamstrung while they were away.All will be fixed shortly.
Ivan.
Nearly there...
From: "dahunnsancelia is-dambuli"
Subject: Re: we are waiting for your reply
Date: Mon 07/05/04 05:46 AM
HELLO IVAN,
WE RECIVED YOUR REPLY THIS AFTERNOON,YOU SIAD THE DIRECTORS
WILL RETURN TODAY,WE HOPE WE WILL GET A POSTIVE REPLY FROM YOU ANY
MINUTE FROM NOW.WE ARE USING THIS OPPORTUNITY TO SAY HELLO TO YOU AND
ALL THE THE DIRECTORS AND ARSE FOOTBALL CLUB IN GENERAL,EXTEND OUR
REGARDS TO ALL OF THEM.THANKS A MILLIONS TIMES.WE ARE WAITING FOR YOUR
REPLY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.THANKS.
EMEKA UBA
From: Ivan Goodhead
Subject: Re: we are waiting for your reply
Date: Mon 07/05/04 03:09 PM
Dear Sir
Some of your money is now available for collection. There was a problem
with Western Union transferring the full amount - they say there is a
limit on the amount you can do at one time, so I have put in the
equivalent of US$5000 and we shall do the rest shortly.These are the details I believe you require.
Sender: Ivan Zachary Goodhead
Address: Arse Clowns FC, Cundy Stadium, South Cundy Road, Cardiff, Wales.
Control Number: 5295682946
Question: Where's the beef?
Answer: I ate it.Best of luck to you and I look forward to hearing from you again.
Sincerely,
Ivan Goodhead.
OK, lets give him some false details.
From: dahunnsancelia isdambuli
Subject: specific details
Date: Tue 07/06/04 11:21 AM
HELLO IVAN,
WE RECIVED THE DETAILS OF THE WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANFER TO
US,BUT UNFORTUNATLY WE GET TO FIRST BANK OF NIGERIA TO MAKE CLAIM OF THE
MONEY THEY SAID THAT THERE IS NO MONEY THAT COME THROUGH WESTERN UNION
MONEY TRANSFER WITH THE DETAILS AND NAMES YOU GAVE US,WE WAS ACCUSED OF
WANTING TO MAKE A FALSE CLAIM TO A MONEY TRANSFER THAT IS NOT EXISTING,
THEY DETAINED US IN BANK PREMISES FOR FEW HOURS FOR INTERROGATION BY [we can only hope he's telling the truth!]
SECURITY OF THE BANK,FORTUNATELY THE BANK IS THE BANK OSCAR FOOTBALL
CLUB BANK WITH,WE CALLED OUR DIRECTOR AND HE COME AND TELL THEM THAT IT WAS
NOT A FALSE CLAIM RATHER A MISTAKE FROM THE SENDER,FINALY THEY LEAVE US
AND TELL US TO GET A VALID INFORMATION FROM THE SENDER.
NOW,WHAT IS WRONG,GIVE US THE CLAIMING DETAILS AGAIN AND
THE PARTICLAR NAME YOU USE TO SEND IT OUT OF THE THREE NAMES I GAVE
YOU THAT YOU CAN CHOOSE ANY TO SEND IT.THIS IS MY PHONE NUMBER.
2348037412745 CALL ME IMMEDIATLY WITH IT,THEN PLEASE GIVE ME THE PHONE NUMBER I WILL BE USING TO CALL YOU ANY TIME THE NEEDS COMES UP.I AM WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY AS SOON AS POSIBLE.THANKS
EMEKA UBAPLEASE REPLY WITH THIS EMAIL ADDRESS.xxx@xxx
From: Ivan Goodhead
Subject: Re: specific details
Date: Tue 07/06/04 06:29 PM
Dear Sir
There must be some misunderstanding. I will head down to the WU office
and investigate what occurred.My sincerest apologies I will be back to you soon.
Regards,
Ivan Goodhead.
From: dahunnsancelia isdambuli
Subject: Re: specific details
Date: Wed 07/07/04 08:12 AM
HELLO IVAN,
HOW WAS IT,WHAT IS EXACTLY HAPPENING.HAVE YOU WENT TO THE WESTERN UNION OFFICE TO CLEAR THE MISTAKE.WE ACCEPT EVERY
APPOLOGIES YOU TENDER.WE ARE WATING TO HEAR FROM YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE WITH THE DETAILS OF HOW TO CLEAR THE FUND FROM W.U.
THANKS. EMEKA UBA
From: "dahunnsancelia is-dambuli"
Subject: we are waiting
Date: Thu 07/08/04 03:54 AM
HELLO IVAN,
WE HAVE BEEN WATING TO GET YOUR REPLY SINCE YESTERDAY,BUT
WE DONT SEE YOUR MAIL OR PHONE CALL.HOW FAR HAVE YOU RECTIFIED THE
PROBLEM ABOUT THE FUND
TRANSFER WITH THE WESTERN UNION.WE ARE WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOUR
POSTIVE REPLY LATER TODAY,PLEASE GET BACK TO US THROUGH EMAIL OR PHONE
CALL AND TELL US WHAT IS EXACTLY HAPPENING.
EMEKA UBA
From: "dahunnsancelia is-dambuli"
Subject: what is up
Date: Fri 07/09/04 01:32 AM
HELLO IVAN,
WHAT IS EXACTLY HAPPENING,IT SEEM YOU JUST KEEP US EXPECTING
YOUR REPLY FROM TIME TO TIME,I EMAIL YESTERDAY AND EXPECTING YOU TO
REPLY BACK,BUT ALL OF NO AVAIL.PLEASE GET BACK TO US AND INFORM US OF
THE LATEST SITUATION OR IF THE ARSE CLOWN FOOTBALL CLUB HAVE CHANGED
THEIR MIND IN DONATING TO OSCAR FOOTBALL CLUB YOU BETTER INFORM US
INITIALY BECAUSE EVERY BODY IN THE CLUB IS WORRIED ABVOUT THE DELAY
IN THAT TRANSFER.THANKS
EMEKA UBA
From: "dahunnsancelia is-dambuli"
Date: Tue 07/13/04 07:18 AM
HELLO IVAN,
WHAT IS EXACTLY HAPPENING,YOU JUST KEEP US WAITING WAITING FOR
A LONG TIME NOW TO CLEAR THE FUND DOES IT MEAN YOU DOSE NOT SENT ANY
THING OR SO WHAT.WE ARE WATING FIR YOUR REPLY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
THANKS.EMEKA UBA
I was on holiday for two weeks, hence why I left him hanging. Time to pick up the game again.
From: Ivan Goodhead
Subject: Re:
Date: Sun 07/18/04 07:25 PM
Dear Sir
I am so sorry to have kept you waiting in this matter.
A lot has happened and I shall try to fill you in.
Firstly, the money we sent to you via Western Union has gone missing!
Would you believe that the office we attended was a fraudulent cover and
when we returned there the office had disappeared. Police are still
tracking the culprits but it is believed they are fugitives from the
Republic of Syldavia, hence tracking them may be difficult.Our club has also had some troubles, one of the directors has turned out
to be embezzling money and has been arrested. We are still finding our
feet on this matter - our assets were all seized during the
investigations and this is taking some time to sort out.There is light at the end of the tunnel however, and I hope to have good
news for you at the end of the week.Sincerely,
Ivan Goodhead.
He never replied. Never mind.
End.
