Proper Behavior for Democrats and Republicans

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Proper Behavior for Democrats and Republicans

You might be a political redneck...
A Young Boy's Letter to God
Fringefolk Revenge Virus

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Rachel Carson, "A Silent Spring"
My First Presidentiary: A Scrapbook by George W. Bush

At long last, the proper behavior for both Republicans and Democrats has been put in print:


If a Republican pardons his son, without the son ever being convicted, thats OK.

If a Democrat pardons his brother, who after a wayward youth, reformed, the Republicans should investigate.

If a Republican pardons himself by pardoning anyone who might testify against him, the Democrats must let it go because we should not hamper the power of the presidency.

If a Democrat pardons the ex-husband of a good friend, after receiving phone calls from two prime ministers, and many letters from many people of note, asking for mercy, the Republicans should investigate.

If a Democrat has a campaign donor stay overnight at the White House, it's "renting the people's house".

If a Republican has a campaign donor stay overnight at the White House, it's just a "gesture of thanks and goodwill."

If a Democrat fails in business or has an economic reversal, Republicans must investigate to be sure there was no wrong doing, even if the statute of limitations for any POSSIBLE crime has run out.

If a Republican fails in business or has an economic reversal, it should be left alone because its in the past, especially if the statute of limitations has not yet run out on any POSSIBLE crime. If however, the Republican is a moderate, see instructions for Democrats, above.

If a Democrat is accused of having a sexual relationship it must be front page news.

If a Republican has a sexual relationship, it is a private matter. If the Republican is a moderate, see instructions for Democrats, above.

If you are a Democrat and your children do anything out of line, you should have to answer to the people for your children's actions.

If you are a Republican, and your children do anything out of line, the Secret Service will clear it all up for them AND their friends.

If a Republican, who supported the war in Vietnam, does not go to war, but joins the National Guard, instead, and if his commanding officer has written into the Republican's permanent file, "I have not seen this man in over a year", the Republican is a patriot who did not desert his country. Even if his dad was a powerful government official who arranged the National Guard stint.

If a Democrat, who was against the war, goes to Vietnam so as to insure that no one from his hometown would have to go in his place, and he serves as a military journalist, he has taken the easy way out and his daddy arranged it all. No matter that by just being in Vietnam he took some risk that he could be killed.

If a Democrat says he "didn't inhale" we should all make fun of him and never let it go.

If a Republican had a reputation for taking hard drugs and driving drunk, we should consider him a better man for having overcome his addictions.

If a Republican senatorial candidate loses an election in FL, we should recount the votes until he wins.

If a Democratic presidential candidate nearly ties a Republican candidate,and asks for a recount, even if he never gets it, he is a sore loser. Never mind that FL law says that all overvotes must be counted, don't count them anyway, it might mean the Republican will lose.

If a Republican is ahead by 500 votes and FL law says that a hand recount cannot be done unless there were problems with the voting machines, it doesn't matter that the ballots were misprinted. Democrats must follow the letter of the law!

If a Republican is only ahead by 500 votes and FL law says that ALL absentee ballots must be postmarked by election day, Democrats must not try to enforce it in regards to military ballots. It isn't fair to make the military follow the letter of the current law.

If Republicans in the Senate actively recruit Democrats to switch parties during their term of office, thats OK.

If a Republican Senator feels betrayed by his party and wants to switch during his term, there should be a law to prevent it.

There you have it, the basic standard of behavior for Democrats and Republicans.



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